Jul 27 2008
Contest #5: I’m Not Not Batman
With Christian Bale’s newest Batman flick rocking the box office, it got one MM user thinking about who might or might not really be Batman. That user is Brendan, winner of last week’s contest and this week’s guest judge. He pitched an idea for this week’s contest, and we loved it. That means he’ll get to nominate his favorite entry to be in the finals.
This week’s contest is: Name the celebrity least likely to be Batman in real life. You must give a short (no more than a few sentences) argument for your answer. You can interpret the word celebrity loosely here; anyone who is well known qualifies, but we are limiting the answers to males celebrities. Also, unlike most weeks, you can only enter this week’s contest 3 times, so make them count.
You can enter the contest by clicking on Contest Entries (also located below) and leaving your answer there. By leaving an entry you are agreeing to the contest rules and terms. This week’s prize is a $25 gift certificate to Amazon.com.
Like usual, our users will determine the winner. You can show your approval for the unBatman candidates in the Contest Entries section by clicking on the thumbs-up icon. Friday evening we’ll put up a poll with 5 finalists. You’ll have until 5pm EST on Sunday to vote. Good luck!
Contest Summary:
What you have to do: Name the celebrity least likely to be Batman in real life. (And tell us why.)
How to enter: Write your entry in the Contest Entries section.
Deadline: Friday, August 1st at 5pm EST
Prize: A $25 Amazon.com gift certificate
Announcement: This contest is closed. Feel free to continue to leave your answers here, but you’ll be doing so strictly for our edification. Why don’t you check out the latest update or contest?
July 27th, 2008 at 11:02 pm
George Clooney.
The way he played Batman was proof enough that it’s not him.
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July 28th, 2008 at 7:09 am
Keith Richards.
I’m pretty sure he was voted most likely to be mistaken for a zombie. I think that would make him poor candidate for the caped crusader.
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July 28th, 2008 at 7:22 am
Martin Short… he’d be trying to make people laugh instead of capturing them Plus the batman suit would be too big on him.
I blogged you here:
http://laurawilliamsmusings.blogspot.com/2008/07/monday-edition-of-contests-galore_28.html
Be sure to stop by and enter my three contest.
http://laurawilliamsmusings.blogspot.com/2007/10/current-giveaways-i-am-hosting-on-my.html
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July 28th, 2008 at 7:41 am
Jay Leno.
Do I need to explain why?
Even with his mask on, people will still be able to figure out who he really is!
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July 28th, 2008 at 7:42 am
James McAvoy…my fave but to little to be Batman…also too much humor.
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July 28th, 2008 at 8:31 am
Conan O’Brien…I think he might make a good Robin, but NO Batman!!
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July 28th, 2008 at 8:31 am
Shia LeBouf, for his repeated, idiotic run-ins with the law!
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July 28th, 2008 at 8:47 am
Danny Devito, he would never fit the costume.
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smodaresi reply on July 28th, 2008 10:12 am:
Oh darn, you took mine! He’s such a good choice! :)
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July 28th, 2008 at 9:33 am
Verne Troy. I’m fairly sure nobody would mistake a midget for an avenging creature of the night.
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R.E.D. reply on July 28th, 2008 3:41 pm:
Sorry, Eric! I didn’t see your post.
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July 28th, 2008 at 9:39 am
Aaahnold. I don’t think he would fit into the costume.
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July 28th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
Will Ferrell is SO not Batman because he would just crack us up.
Would love to win!
Steph
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July 28th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
Barry Manilow would begin singing and give it away!
smilingsal55[at]yahoo[dot]com
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July 28th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
Paul Reuben (aka Pee Wee Herman) I don’t think he’d take the task seriously and would probably insist on wearing a bowtie and screaming when someone said the magic word!
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July 28th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
paul williams…..LOL! Remember him? You gotta look him up if not. He’d be a better penquin. Man was short and round and wrote smoopsy love songs…….
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July 28th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Celeb least like Batman…ummm how about Superman…Christopher Reeve.
Because he’s superman..and superman is NOTHING like Batman.
Seems logical to me…
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July 28th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Robin Williams…he just couldn’t keep a straight face. Batman has that air of mystery around him and Robin couldn’t pull that off.
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July 28th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
Hmm I would have to say Zac Efron - he couldn’t be. Batman has this older, cool sophistication that comes with age.
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July 28th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Heath Ledger. How could the joker be Batman, impossible. Plus… he’s dead.
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July 28th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
What about RICHARD SIMMONs! His hair would fit in the outfit, and I wouldn’t be able to stop laughing!
grayjones5 at yahoo dot com
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July 28th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
John Candy, I know he’s deceased now, and definitely out of the running on that count - but he was a BIG guy, definitely not athletic enough for Batman.
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July 28th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
Now in case John Candy doesn’t count (well, he’s not alive in any case, but was the first person to come to mind), I’ll put in a second entry. Steve Martin - he’s hilarious, but has done too much goofy comedy to be Batman - who is always so serious and…stoic.
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July 28th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Okay, one more…Chris Rock. Again - too comedic, and he’s black. A black batman would be a first, but not likely :).
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July 28th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Woody Allen (comedian)
How could a persona so physically challenged and socially undesirable be Batman? Allen said as a child he was sent to an interfaith summer camp, where he was “savagely beaten by children of all races and creeds.” He wouldn’t be able to save himself let alone Gotham City!
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July 28th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Adam Sandler. I don’t think a comedian would play the role right.
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July 28th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Dave Chappelle
When I scrolled down to this comment box Dave Chappelle immediately came to mind. Probably because he is a smoker - Batman strikes me as one health conscious dude. I suppose there is the whole weed thing as well.
Actually, I take that back – I think he would make a great Batman.
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July 28th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
I’m thinking John Madden. Batman doesn’t having one of those “drawing on the screen” thingies, and I’m pretty sure that’s all the technology John can handle.
And he’d be pretty funny in that suit. The ab plate would be beyond comical.
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Jay Bryan reply on July 29th, 2008 10:30 pm:
Actually, John Madden on the telestrater would be great “BAM!”, “BANG!”, “POW!”.
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July 28th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
I’m thinking Christian Bale. Because no one would expect the guy who plays Batman on television to -really- be Batman.
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July 28th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Ron Jeremy. There’s no way he’d fit in that tight rubber suit.
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lisa reply on July 30th, 2008 10:28 am:
i met him in real life on senior spring break….never saw his videos but based on his short shorts…i’d call it a myth…or all in proportion. he’s a tiny, hairy, little thing! but this answer is still funny so i’ll give it a thumbs up:)
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July 28th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Two words: Jack. Black.
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July 28th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
Steven Cojocaru from Entertainment tonight, because he couldn’t find pumps to match his costume.
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July 28th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Woody Allen, because the orphans of Gotham city would be afraid of him.
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July 28th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
Andy Dick…He is a guy, right?
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July 28th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
Jack Black. I love him, but he’s too short, chubby, and rude. Batman needs to be suave and sexy…in and out of the suit.
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July 28th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
William Shatner
says, “That…SUIT…is…NOT…
SANitary! I…DON’T…WANT…to go…WHERE…other…MEN…have…
GONE…beFORE!”
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July 28th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
Verne Troyer(Mini-Me)…Because the Bat Suit doesn’t have a fly for him to look out of.
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R.E.D. reply on July 28th, 2008 3:24 pm:
Just picture it: The Bat Suit with a zipper and Mini-Me looking out of the crotch!
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Eric Chandler reply on July 28th, 2008 3:30 pm:
I already said that one. Go Check reply #9.
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Agent Mammal reply on July 28th, 2008 3:34 pm:
But you have to admit, the crotch thing is funny. :)
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R.E.D. reply on July 31st, 2008 1:31 pm:
Thanks for the support Agent Mammal and Padma but I just heard that due to unexpected budget cuts and the posts on this site, Verne Troyer WILL play the the bottom half of the Caped Crusader in, BATMAN:THE SHORT NIGHT(SIC) They are still casting for someone to be the top half. Rumors have it that, since he got booted off The Greatest American Dog, Tillman is on the short list.
R.E.D. reply on July 28th, 2008 3:47 pm:
Sorry, Eric, I didn’t see your post. My reason why he wouldn’t make a good batman is different, though, and I hope, for that reason, everyone will consider mine as an original entry.
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Padma reply on July 28th, 2008 4:08 pm:
I agree. You can use the same person as long as your reason is different.
July 28th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
ANY of the Baldwin brothers because it would just be wrong, that’s all.
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July 28th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
I would have to say Steven tyler. Can you just
Imagine those huge lips coming at you. He could
fly by opening his mouth, LOL.
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July 28th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
Awesome giveaway! Thanks for hosting!
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July 28th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Simon Cowell..He’d just criticize your cry for help
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July 28th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
I have to say Kelsey Grammer…It just doesn’t work.
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July 28th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Carson Kressley…he’d more in likely change your wardrobe while your being attacked.
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July 28th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
Zac Efron…he’s way too cutesy!
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July 28th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
Michael Jackson…girly voice..dance moves…glove…these would just be dead giveaways!!
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July 28th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
LoL! How about Richard Simmons? Ha haha hahaha.. I don’t think so!!! Let rescue some people while sweatin’ to the oldies! Please enter me to win. Thanks.
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July 28th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Florence Henderson. Carol Brady is so not Batman.
Am I allowed to pick girls?
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Gabriel reply on July 29th, 2008 10:36 am:
Nope, but if we did, Carol Brady would be a pretty good answer. Maybe you could go with one of the male Brady kids.
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July 28th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
Donald Trump-not that he wouldn’t like to be mind you.Then again, the overall value of Wayne Manor would probably triple in value if the donald lived there.
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July 28th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Christopher Lee. Too tall and would be too overly dramatic.
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July 28th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
i’ll say Adam Sandler. he’s way too goofy!
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July 28th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Hulk Hogan, strong but would probably scare everybody to death if he tried to rescue them.
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July 28th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
stephen hawking
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Gabriel reply on July 28th, 2008 5:08 pm:
This is belaboring the obvious, but the contest is to name the person AND tell us why.
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July 28th, 2008 at 5:24 pm
Bill Murray. He is just too goofy! I love him though. :)
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July 28th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
Verne (Mini-Me) .. because he’s just to mini and I don’t think he would make a convincing super hero :)
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July 28th, 2008 at 5:36 pm
David Hasselhoff. Sure he’s good at running on the beach and saving people from the ocean, but defeating the bad guys? I don’t think so. :-)
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July 28th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
Heath Ledger…b/c he’s dead…lol
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July 28th, 2008 at 5:58 pm
Kathy Bates. I just can’t really see her in the suit. Or flying through the air. Or making out with Kim Basinger.
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July 28th, 2008 at 6:16 pm
Mr. Incredible
Blurring the lines between super heroes is NEVER a good idea ;)
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July 28th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
Brendan Fraser…he’s just such a doof!
Great giveaway! Count me in. bebemiqui82(at)yahoo(dot)com
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July 28th, 2008 at 7:15 pm
Wilford Brimley. Too much fiber from those Quaker oats.
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July 28th, 2008 at 7:19 pm
Hands down I would have to say the she-devil Meryl Streep In “The Devil Wears Prada.” She is the antagonist of a batman figurine; no hero or altruism.
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July 28th, 2008 at 7:25 pm
Andy Dick. Nuff said.
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July 28th, 2008 at 7:35 pm
Well, I’m gonna nominate Clint Eastwood. Because he’s so badass that he doesn’t need a secret identity to fight crime. He’d say “Give me a break with that rubber suit and just shoot the bad guy.”
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July 28th, 2008 at 7:36 pm
Paris Hilton….she’s too concerned with herself to help anyone even if she has a disguise on!
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July 28th, 2008 at 7:37 pm
Quentin Tarantino — all the people in his scripts drive Chevy’s, his characters are framed in doorways (when was the last time you saw Batman use a door?), and his first noted screenplay was entitled “Captain Peachfuzz and the Anchovy Bandit,” — need I say more?
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July 28th, 2008 at 7:40 pm
George Michael… because he’s too busy polishing his knob to save anyone. Besides, he can’t even save himself.
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July 28th, 2008 at 7:44 pm
Drew Carey. He totally doesn’t fit the image, plus he’s boring on The Price is Right, so I wouldn’t have hope for him in this role.
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July 28th, 2008 at 8:20 pm
Gabe Kaplan…..can you imagine? Kotter would not make a superhero in any sense of the word
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July 28th, 2008 at 8:37 pm
I’d say Don Knotts…too skinny, and too dead.
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July 28th, 2008 at 9:29 pm
Mmm, Julianne Moore. Because I’m pretty sure she’s actually Wonder Woman.
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July 28th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
Pee Wee Herman. He’d make a totally different kind of Batman, but I don’t think that any of us want to see that!
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July 28th, 2008 at 10:05 pm
britney spears…. although she might try. but really, could you see her as bruce wayne? :)
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July 28th, 2008 at 10:16 pm
Carrot Top. he’d have way too many bat-props
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July 28th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
Bruce Willis/John McClane because that’s just too much badass under one cowl
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July 28th, 2008 at 10:18 pm
Paul Reuben - aka Pee Wee Herman. He might be a bit disturbed, but I think he’s better suited for the Joker than Batman.
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July 28th, 2008 at 10:19 pm
Hugh Jackman…He’s wolverine…so he can’t be Batman!
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smodaresi reply on July 29th, 2008 11:34 am:
Sorry, but Hugh Jackman would make an AWESOME Batman. I know he’s already Wolverine, but he could probably pull off both!
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July 28th, 2008 at 10:19 pm
Keanu Reeves. because he is…the O-nay (one said in Keanu speak)
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July 28th, 2008 at 10:27 pm
Ryan Seacrest would NOT make a good Batman. The man is EVERY WHERE! Every where you turn there he is - radio, TV, appearances… BUT… he’s not Batman!!! LOL!
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July 28th, 2008 at 10:35 pm
Jack Black…he would have to loose his belly and get pumped up for it and he is famous for his “weight”. It is what makes him, him.
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July 28th, 2008 at 10:39 pm
Bret Michaels…with that long blond hair sticking out from the mask…he already has the tight pant thing going on.
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July 28th, 2008 at 11:19 pm
I think I have to say Gilbert Gottfried.
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July 28th, 2008 at 11:30 pm
Carson Kressley whould not make a good batman, but he could help him look good naked.
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July 28th, 2008 at 11:36 pm
I think Carrot Top is the least likely to be Batman. His props often fail, so could you imagine him trying to throw a web? Yikes!
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July 28th, 2008 at 11:49 pm
Rosie O’Donnell.. O doubt she is Batman… I seriously doubt it
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July 28th, 2008 at 11:51 pm
Shia LeBeouf. Even Bruce Wayne can’t afford to get hammered and wreck the Batmobile.
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July 28th, 2008 at 11:56 pm
Robin Williams. Too goofy and short! :)
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July 28th, 2008 at 11:58 pm
Weird Al.. The hair (as I remember it) would be a dead giveaway.
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July 29th, 2008 at 12:20 am
Richard Simmons…I just don’t think Batman would look great in those little shorts and it would make it hard for him to hide in those flashy shirts!
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July 29th, 2008 at 12:44 am