Jul 07 2008
Contest #2: Haiku of the Future
For last week’s contest (see the winner here) we looked to the past; this week we look to the future. Contest #2 will require a willingness to play with language, some rudimentary poetry skills, and a dash of creativity.
For this week’s contest you have to write a haiku about the future. I know the title says “of the future”, but that’s just because it’s more catchy. We were thinking of calling this contest Futureku or even Haikuture, so I don’t think you have any room to complain. You can write about any aspect of the future. This includes technology, fashion, food, sports, language, Tony Danza, or whatever. Let your mind wander.
Don’t worry if you’ve never written a haiku before; it’s easy. If you can count the number of syllables in a word, you can write a haiku. For our purposes you just have to know that a standard haiku has 3 lines, and that the lines have a 5-7-5 syllable breakdown. That means the 1st and 3rd lines have 5 syllables and the 2nd line has 7.
You can enter the contest by clicking on Contest Entries (also located below) and leaving your poem there. By leaving an entry you are agreeing to the contest rules and terms. This week’s prize is a $25 gift certificate to Amazon.com and a 100 yen coin. The deadline for entry is Friday July 11th at 5pm EST. Like usual, our users will determine the winner. You can rate haikus in the Contest Entries section by clicking on the thumbs-up or thumbs-down icons. Friday evening we’ll put up a poll with 5 finalists. You’ll have until 5pm on Sunday to vote. Good luck!
Winning this week’s contest might not make you a famous poet, but it’s not a bad way to start. Let me start you out with an example entry that might make me a famous poet:
It makes crisp bagels (5 syllables in this line)
Then it downloads my emails (7 syllables in this line)
Love my iToaster (5 syllables in this line)
What you have to do: Write a haiku about the future.
How to enter: Write your entry in the Contest Entries section.
Deadline: Friday, July 11th at 5pm EST
Prize: A $25 Amazon.com gift certificate and a 100 Yen coin.
Announcement: This contest is closed. Feel free to continue to leave your haiku here, but you’ll be doing so strictly for our edification. Why don’t you check out the latest update or contest?
July 7th, 2008 at 11:07 am
This is where you should leave your future haiku. Lest anyone think us ignorant, I would like to point out that we know this contest doesn’t meet the exact definition of a haiku. In fact, it’s closer to a senryu. However, we’re calling it a haiku contest because a senryu contest would have about as much draw as a PBS documentary about the history of funnels.
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July 7th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
Woe be the future
Because the president is
Hannah Montana
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July 7th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
in 2010
new regulation for cops
no more mustaches
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mclayto reply on July 7th, 2008 2:16 pm:
twenty ten: doesn’t work
two thousand and ten: doesn’t work
two thousand ten: ahhh - that one works
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July 7th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
Twentieth of Jan
The new president arrives
We love you Barack
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July 7th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
Summer Olympics
Overlooking human rights
In Beijing China
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July 7th, 2008 at 6:13 pm
Where’s everyone gone?
Viruses and cockroaches
are all that remain.
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hmodaresi1 reply on July 8th, 2008 2:01 am:
Like father like daughter! Read mine, you will know what I am saying.
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July 7th, 2008 at 9:35 pm
I win your contest
My prize is from Amazon
I smile really big
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July 7th, 2008 at 9:58 pm
I love The Jetsons
they’re my favorite cartoon
life in the future
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July 7th, 2008 at 10:34 pm
What might we forget
As we stay vulnerable
Mistakes will be made
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July 8th, 2008 at 12:47 am
古池や かわず飛び込む でもミライ
Into the old pond -
Silent, unstirred, a frog jumps
But in the future.
(With apologies to Basho)
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July 8th, 2008 at 1:08 am
Ivy-covered bricks -
Cubs Win! Cubs Win! Holy Cow!
Hey, it could happen.
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July 8th, 2008 at 1:48 am
Fresh water is gone
Globally warmed, wells run dry
Salt averse, I die.
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July 8th, 2008 at 1:58 am
Extinction of man?
Natural selction is king;
Why lose weight? Eat! Eat!
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July 8th, 2008 at 5:34 am
All stories are old,
There’s not a whole lot to know
About the future.
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July 8th, 2008 at 6:12 am
Polar ice caps melt
You had better learn to swim
Row, row, row your boat
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July 8th, 2008 at 10:32 am
Am I still myself?
After teleportation
I am less than sure
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July 8th, 2008 at 10:34 am
In the near future,
Prizes will be fifty bucks.
I’ll try harder then.
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July 8th, 2008 at 11:36 am
Newborn baby boys
Notched arrows for the future
Cyrus and Morgan
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July 8th, 2008 at 11:49 am
Men will fly naked
Women will never look up
Wonder how they mate
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July 8th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
oh no, McCain won
I should not have made that bet
Canada, I’m home
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July 8th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
Love? Bliss? Happiness?
Can it be that I’ve found it??
Nope, she’s a robot.
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vlad reply on July 8th, 2008 3:44 pm:
Buffy-bot?
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July 8th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
carbon credits hoax
Big Ag, Market Traders cheer
poor of the world starve
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July 8th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Nation of cryers
Sad songs, grief, onions galore
Our cars fueled by tears.
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July 8th, 2008 at 8:19 pm
Next superpower
I sure hope it’s India
Bollywood movies!
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July 8th, 2008 at 8:37 pm
Daughter graduates
Gets a degree and a job
Start paying Mom back
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July 8th, 2008 at 8:46 pm
U.S. survives Iraq
Irag returns to Iraq
Millions dead or maimed!
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July 8th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
G.W. walks mindless
Heart beating, but dead and cold
American pres.?
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July 8th, 2008 at 9:16 pm
This little baby,
Grown in my belly so big,
Will be tall one day.
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July 9th, 2008 at 12:36 am
Three Robotics Laws
Ouch! Sorry to be rude, ‘droid.
They’ve found a loophole.
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July 9th, 2008 at 10:37 am
must start studying
the bar is an awful test
i think i will fail
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July 9th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
Waves to the future
Sprinkled salt delight
Transition to a bright land
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July 9th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
Ta dada ta ta
Dum didi dum dadida
Life is like a rose.
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July 9th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Future is coming,
Future is always coming,
But it’s never now.
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July 9th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
The moon is not far,
When you wish upon a star.
Deep space: here we come!
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July 10th, 2008 at 12:27 am
When it is finished
The future of which I write
Is already gone
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July 10th, 2008 at 12:35 am
When the Candidate
Wants not the Presidency
That’s who gets my vote
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July 10th, 2008 at 12:39 am
Counting on fingers…
Checking haiku…is more work
Than we think it is
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July 10th, 2008 at 12:46 am
Putting more haiku
Out to be seen is almost like
Spilling gasoline
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greg hunter reply on July 10th, 2008 12:50 am:
I regret the presence of an additional syllable in post 38. Would that I could edit it again. Would that I could quit while I’m ahead. But now you see my point?
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July 10th, 2008 at 9:07 am
I. O. U. five bucks
Will loan you ten bucks next week
You owe me Five bucks
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July 10th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
Darwin did not say
That robots would rule the day
Man is here to stay
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July 10th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
Esperanto flows
Care and understanding grows
Peace on earth follows
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July 10th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
over the hoopla
children are swimming at birth
land is now water
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July 10th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
o satisfaction
it’s sexy time with Robot
no need for woman
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July 10th, 2008 at 5:06 pm
US paved the way
shuttle is like crappy Ford
space now China man’s
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TD reply on July 10th, 2008 8:26 pm:
“China man’s”?
Nice. Why not: “Honkies paved the way” to start?
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nolie reply on July 11th, 2008 5:39 pm:
TD,
Because it didn’t flow as well. Also,
China: a national entity occupying a large portion of land in East Asia
US: A country situated mostly in central North America.
Man: male human
Honky: derogatory term for a Caucasian person
Way to be a wet blanket! Bravo!
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nolie reply on July 11th, 2008 5:43 pm:
TD annoying
take offense instead of chill
he should find a girl
Garrett reply on July 11th, 2008 8:49 pm:
Nolie, while I’d bet you didn’t mean to offend, I read “China man” and read “Chinaman” - your breakdown of “Chinama” or “China man” is farcical. You know as well as anyone that “Chinaman” is a derogatory epithet. Putting a space in the middle or saying it was for the flow of a haiku doesn’t really change what it is. Your ad hominem attack on TD, instead of a reasoned an fair explanation doesn’t really put you in the best light. To insult him in haiku is not exactly chilling, is it now?
nolie reply on July 11th, 2008 10:28 pm:
I’m not interested in being put “in the best light”. My aim is to write a funny haiku, not address hypersensitivity. My point is that a “reasoned and fair explanation” has as much place in this forum as a chilling comment breaking the humorous tone of the contest based on a judgement made from a spirit of hypocritical policital correctness. Kindly refrain from threadcrapping. I do not crap on your threads.
nolie reply on July 11th, 2008 10:54 pm:
Alright, I apologize to all for getting upset. Political correctness is one of my pet peeves, and I get heated on the subject. Sorry to anyone who took offense ;)
TD reply on July 12th, 2008 2:07 am:
Nolie, when you explain, you insult your critics. When you apologize, you insult your critics. Forgive me for finding your apology more than a little insincere.
In my understanding, political correctness, when used negatively, is protesting or stopping legitimate discussion on the basis of insulting a vaguely defined group. I didn’t say, “You can’t criticize China!” I didn’t say, “You have to pretend China is not competing with US!”
I said using “China man” - a well-known racial slur dating from the time of Western Imperialism in China and which carries a feeling of backwardness - was not very nice. I tried to make it light-hearted and to give you an example of how it is offensive by placing a parallel. Clearly, I failed and you did not take the point. I apologize if my syntax was offensive. I should be more careful in English perhaps.
I pointed out your oversight (I don’t mean to accuse you of racism) and you responded with unwarranted rudeness. Garret politiely explained why it was offensive and you did the same to him.
Then you apologized for geting upset, not for considering humor more important than consideration for other people. Not for rudely insulting someone who was polite to you. This is immature. This is bad manners.
I pointed out that “Chinaman” is offensive, this is not political correctness. I would guess that you would not have the same reaction if someone used “N” word, but it is OK to deride Chinese? Please explain this.
If you said, “Sorry, I didn’t think about it,” it would be finished. Instead, you made it seem my fault and you gave a phony explanation of what you did.
It’s sad that you get “heated up” about the idea of politeness to people who aren’t white male Americans. It’s also sad that you accuse people who ask to reconsider of hypocrisy. Please check a dictionary for the word’s meaning.
If your reply is going to be to try to insult me again, don’t waste your time.
Garrett reply on July 12th, 2008 3:44 am:
Why don’t you guys both calm down?
TD, it’s safe to say Nolie’s not a racist and that his unfortunate usage caused unintended offense. When this was pointed out, he got defensive. No need for this to escalate.
Nolie, it would be wise to respond with reason first and save the insults.
I apologize for implying racism on your part, that was not my intent. Nor was it my intention to “carp” on “your” thread.
NB:
“Hypocrisy” is doing what one speaks or acts against - a DEA agent recreationally using drugs, for instance.
Political correctness usually carries a feeling of excess, like this.
Now, can you guys kiss and make nice or does the omnipotent moderator need to do it.
Garrett reply on July 12th, 2008 3:45 am:
Sorry for the typos. It was not my intent to “crap” on “your” thread.
nolie reply on July 12th, 2008 4:43 am:
A big smooch to TD & Garrett. :) Hope you enjoyed the energized debate and I look forward to weekly contest #3!! Go mentalmagma.com! Games and a whole lot more.
vlad reply on July 13th, 2008 10:22 am:
Td, I notice that you didn;t hesitate to use the epithet for white males. Why didn’t you select another group to insult? Maybe because it’s ok to insult white males? Racism at its most blatant, but you’ve obviously drunk the kool-aid, so I guess I can overlook. You may respond by saying that you are a white male, so you can’t possibly be racist toward white men. If so, I would suggest that you shed some guilt unless you’re really oppressing someone. If you aren’t a white male, disregard the last three sentences.
Nolie, I was on your side until you rolled over.
Agent Mammal reply on July 13th, 2008 11:41 am:
Vlad, I don’t think Nolie “rolled over”, I think he was trying to smooth things over so people would want to continue writing haikus. Also, TD used honkey as an example of an additional racist remark. I don’t think that qualifies him as a racist. I’m not saying you don’t have a point about racism being possible against everyone, including white men, I’m just trying to smooth things over so people want to write haikus (or whatever the next contest will be) again. Cheers.
IngShoe reply on July 13th, 2008 2:51 pm:
Words cut like a knife (5)
They are weapons if misused (7)
Choose them carefully (5)
(Will I ever be able to write in non-haiku form again?!?)
greg hunter reply on July 13th, 2008 5:53 pm:
This site says for ideas you’ll get paid
And I really don’t mean to sound staid
But did anyone note
What Nolie next wrote
When he suggested that TD get laid?
Or aren’t limericks next?
Go figure.
Gabriel reply on July 13th, 2008 6:17 pm:
Very nice.
greg hunter reply on July 13th, 2008 6:19 pm:
Just wanted to point out that even those of us who are self-proclaimed guardians of correctness are merely hypocrites as long as we are self-selective about whom we guard.
vlad reply on July 14th, 2008 2:58 pm:
Greg, while I can appreciate and respect your consistency, the
very idea that one can use the term “guardians of correctness”
with a straight face boggles my mind. I half expect the UPS man
to show up at the front door with a package with a big ACME logo
on it. Last night I had composed about three pages dealing with
the absolute nonsense of political correctness and the dangers
it poses to a free society, but cyberspace ate it, so I’ve taken
that occurrence as an omen to tone down my response. How about a
good old fashion book-burnin’ to ensure that no material offensive
to anyone can ever be made available to the poor bleating masses.
I can’t wait for the speech police and a little later, the thought
police to show up at the front door to serve their warrants. I
guess that the definition of “free thinker” has been given a new
definition since I first took up the mantle 40 years ago. Sticks
and stones.
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July 10th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
A sun of ocher
Brings today but tomorrow
The world a wasteland
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July 10th, 2008 at 8:24 pm
The environment
Something vaguely profound here
Call me the winner
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July 10th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
Food is a pill now
Instead of being a pain
Goodbye McDonalds
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July 10th, 2008 at 9:02 pm
We all live on Mars
And own our own private stars
Driving flying cars
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July 10th, 2008 at 10:27 pm
Serene eternity,
Hell or heaven, which you mean?
Forget it, neither.
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July 10th, 2008 at 10:31 pm
I want a son babe,
Wife refuses to have one
I will make my own!
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July 11th, 2008 at 1:16 am
Craze of the future
Remodel retro spacecraft
Nice floating brownstones
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July 11th, 2008 at 10:04 am
From vegetable,
To animal, to man, to dust,
What the heck, let’s love
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July 11th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
Mind will shrink as does
Environ and H2O
Oh, no, we’ll be warms
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July 11th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
As we breathe foul air
We’ll become smelly balloons
If we pop, we’ll choke
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July 11th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
To be happy, tell self:
Tout est bien qui fini bien
Problem is: we’ll die
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