Jan 26 2009

Contest #31: Truth in Advertising

Category: Uncategorized @ 1:46 am

The inspiration for this contest, aside from the picture on the left, was the movie Dumb and Dumber. In the movie, the guys want to start a pet store that specializes in worms. They tentatively name the store “I got worms.” In addition to being a double entendre (nobody likes single entendres), it is a refreshingly straightforward name.

This week’s contest is to revamp the advertising for the company of your choice. You can rename the company, come up with new slogans, or draw a new logo. The goal is to have the new advertising be frank and honest.

Standard contest timeline and contest rules apply this week. By leaving an entry you are agreeing to those rules. The entry voted the favorite by MM users will earn its author their choice of a $30 Amazon.com gift certificate OR a $60 gift certificate to the MM Online Store.

Contest Summary
Assignment
: Redesign some of the advertising for the business of your choice.
How to enter: Write your entry in the Contest Entries section.
Deadline: Friday, January 30th at 5pm EST
Prize: Your choice of a $30 Amazon.com gift certificate OR a $60 gift certificate to the MM Online Store.

photo by flickr user andyi

380 Responses to “Contest #31: Truth in Advertising”

  1. JIbsauce Says:
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    this is copying a bumpersticker:

    mal-wart: your source for cheap plastic crap.

  2. Jakutz Says:
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    Calculator brand condoms.

    For those who can’t do it in their heads.

  3. Diggy K Says:
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    Think Pretentious, Apple Computers.

    LeatherHoles-Apple.jpg

  4. greg Says:
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    my bank

    pb.jpg

  5. greg Says:
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    the future?

    rblag.jpg

  6. greg Says:
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    WALL-TO-WALL WAL-MART
    Always.
    Everywhere.

    Manifest Destiny for the 21st Century.
    A chicken in every pot, a car in every garage, and a Wal-Mart everywhere else.

  7. fuzz on the concept Says:
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    “First National Government Bailout Bank — We Put ‘National’ In ‘Nationalized’”

  8. fuzz on the concept Says:
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    Madoff Investments Made Off With Your Investments

  9. Barnaby Hayes Says:
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    Enough said.

    NFL logo.jpg

  10. Barnaby Hayes Says:
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    Sorry, kids. Sad, but true.

    Coke logo.jpg

  11. jbirdpowers Says:
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    Can’t Get It Up?
    (Viagra)

  12. fuzz on the concept Says:
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    The US Airways Miraculous Hudson River Tour
    “Where Everyone Walks Away Safely on Water”

    USAirwaysPic.JPG

  13. fuzz on the concept Says:
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    (with mad turbo props to that pilot and his fly skillz)

  14. jbirdpowers Says:
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    Horny? Why wait? Grab a hooker!

  15. jbirdpowers Says:
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    Prostitution is a campany, right?

  16. jbirdpowers Says:
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    “You hit me in the head one more time and I’ll take that V8 and shove it straight up your ass!”
    I’ll have a V8 if I damn well please.
    V8

  17. etmoose Says:
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    Isolate yourself from what you love in life by connecting to your job 24/7… with Blackberry.

  18. greg Says:
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    catchy

  19. greg Says:
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    Renewed – Ready – Rigged

    Get ready for season 8, when every Tuesday and Wednesday night will find
    AMERICA IDLE!

    Watch people you don’t respect as they judge acts you don’t like without guilt! It’s the show that has the whole country sitting on its collective ass — twice a week!

    Park it and let AMERICA IDLE…

  20. greg Says:
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    yum

    scotch.jpg

  21. fuzz on the concept Says:
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    Bottled Water!
    Just about the same as what’s on tap!

    water_faucet.jpg

  22. Zee Says:
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    The New Covergirl Ad!

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  23. fuzz on the concept Says:
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    … the world’s oldest camp followers.

  24. rudolfs001 Says:
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    Wal-Marx
    Corporate Greed
    Always.

  25. rudolfs001 Says:
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    Be Popular, Buy Mac.

    3d_Apple_Logo_102.jpg

  26. Iaoai Says:
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    Props? I thought it was a jet.

  27. Iaoai Says:
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    Blizzard Entertainment:

    Is reality really that worthwhile?

  28. Iaoai Says:
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    Nike:

    Just buy it.

  29. Iaoai Says:
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    Playboy Magazine:

    We print articles because you’re too ashamed to buy real porn.

  30. fuzz on the concept Says:
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    Jet? I thought the major was a lady suffragette.

  31. Mike Fo' Sho' Says:
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    Abercrombie & Fitch

    Come Be Our Billboard!

  32. nmrboy Says:
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    macdonalds: the grease beats back the shame.

  33. Soleil Says:
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    Fox “News”.

  34. greg Says:
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    Dave says…

    wen.jpg

  35. greg Says:
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    Does this man even look trustworthy to you?

    sham.jpg

  36. Bunny Slippers Says:
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    (sung to the Oscar Mayer jingle)

    My bologna has a first name, it’s G-R-O-S-S
    My bologna has a second name, it’s S-T-U-F-F
    Oh, I hate to eat it any day, and if you ask me why, I’ll say
    :Cuz eating little body parts is M-A-C-A-B-R-E.

  37. greg Says:
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    awesome…just awesome

  38. greg Says:
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    Well, I was figurin’ my taxes when a thought struck me
    I am livin’ in the nation that invented “free.”
    To find out where my money goes I did a credit check
    On America, got all three scores, now I’m a wreck.
    F-R-E-E that spells free.
    Credit Report dot com baby.
    The FICA for the USA is minus thirty-three.
    I didn’t know a credit score could show negativity.
    That’s when I realized it wasn’t FREE, the way we want to live.
    It was freedom, which is free+dumb and that gets expensive.
    F-R-E-E that spells free.
    Now I’ll teach you how to spell bankruptcy.

  39. greg Says:
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    The Inauguration of the 44th President of the United States of America

    You are cordially invited to the festivities in Washington, D.C. as
    we celebrate the election of Barak Hussein Obama, our first President of Color.

    As a vital part of this country, a number of special events have been planned, including:

    Party on the Mall (if you get there five hours before the event)

    The Pilgrimage – most visitors will walk between five and ten miles from where they parked to the venues. Thinking of it as a religious journey makes the blisters seem like saintly suffering.

    The Oath of Office – Not to be confused with the actual Oath taken later in a semi-secret meeting between Barak Obama and Chief Justice Roberts. The public performance will feature a musty old Bible and a word-association/tongue-twister game between the President-elect and the Chief Justice.

    Milli-Vanilli Classical – A very special, albeit faked, performance of a beautiful new arrangement of two favorite pieces of music. Watch as four of the most respected musicians of our time cheapen themselves by pretending to play because it never occurred to anyone that instruments will not stayed tuned in freezing winter weather.

    Play “IS IT GREEN OR IS IT YELLOW?” – As the first First Lady of Color, Mrs. Obama will challenge the nation to appreciate olive green accessories with a lemon yellow dress. Truly, we are becoming a color blind nation.

    And don’t miss:
    “Who Moved My Senator Byrd?”
    “Teddy Went Where?”
    “How many times can the Inaugural Speech use FAILURE as code for BUSH before W notices?”
    And many other games so unique to this grand event!

    (This invitation was written in compliance with the Truth in Advertising mandate of the people as expressed on mentalmagma.com)

  40. greg Says:
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    STAR WARS
    The Prequel Trilogy
    A predictable pillar of promising prequels performing prostitution to persuade prepubescent pinheads to praise this poo-poo and put prolific piles of prize-money on the porch of the producer.

    It’s perfectly plain.

  41. SesameStreetgang Says:
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    “It’s pretty much porn.”

    -The Food Network

  42. Spumoni Says:
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    hot dogs

    what’s in them?
    ignorance is bliss.

  43. Spumoni Says:
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    Scotch
    Mmmmmm

  44. Mike Fo' Sho' Says:
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    Cigarettes:

    Now for young people!

  45. Spumoni Says:
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    hey…vince offer’s main goal in life is to take down the church of scientology…for that and that alone, i fully respect him!

  46. Spumoni Says:
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    world of warcraft
    -keeping celibacy strong

  47. Shirin Says:
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    So true.

  48. ocean26 Says:
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    If Disney and Budweiser ever happened to merge, the Disney theme parks might have a image/slogan.

    contest.jpg

  49. SesameStreetgang Says:
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    “I’m…having a heart attack.”

    -McDonalds

  50. greg Says:
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    I can only imagine!

  51. greg Says:
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    Quality is … um … er … line, please?

    ford.jpg

  52. Alex Says:
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    RED BULL

    Because you’re all out of coffee, adderall and meth.

  53. Alex Says:
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    DENTAL FLOSS

    Keep it in the medicine cabinet; no one will know you never use it.

  54. Alex Says:
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    KLEENEX

    Like dear old grandma used to say, “Who needs trees? Just clear cut the Amazon, dispense it in tiny strips and blow your nose with it.”

  55. Alex Says:
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    Real men wear sunglasses.
    Real douches wear $300 Oakleys.

  56. Jakutz Says:
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    Break or lose your phone again?

    Why not spend hundreds on the next one?

    iPhone

  57. greg Says:
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    .

    qo.jpg

  58. Jakutz Says:
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    Try our grease sandwiches.

    White Castle – What you brave.

  59. greg Says:
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    watch for sharks

  60. Jack Breffle Says:
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    The Weather Channel:
    Our business goes up when the weather and your futures fall down

  61. Andrew Jones Says:
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    METROPOLIS LIFE INSURANCE

    “LIFE INSURANCE SAVES DEATH”

    superman_4_loisdrop.jpg

  62. Lalaith Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +6

    iHate face-to-face interaction.

    iCan play with my phone instead.

    iGnoring you is bliss.

    iPhone.

  63. greg Says:
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    .

    oreo.jpg

  64. John B Says:
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    or else your cars are Going to be Made in China

    5_mentalmagmaentry.JPG

  65. Matteo Says:
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    Apple:
    “You keep buying, We’ll keep upgrading.”
    Apple: Your International Indie Corporation, Helping you to help yourself be who you are.

  66. JIbsauce Says:
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    Hoverround: You still can’t walk. Or go up stairs.

  67. greg Says:
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    .

    RC.jpg

  68. greg Says:
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    .

    jl.jpg

  69. jbirdpowers Says:
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    Stalking is only illegal if you get caught!

    Facebook

  70. Zabo Says:
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    Hey, I’m sure I’m the oddity, but my gf and I (note a lack of celibacy) both play/have played, another girl she’s been with plays, and I know of possibly the only case of someone losing their virginity directly because of WoW.

  71. Zabo Says:
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    George Dickel:

    It’s like Jack Daniels, but cheaper.

    Perfect for your recession binges!

  72. jayrad Says:
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    Snuggie!
    The blanket with sleeves. Otherwise known as a bathrobe worn backwards.

  73. Mike Fo' Sho' Says:
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    Because your kids aren’t fat enough!

    oreo-cakesters.jpg

  74. vlad Says:
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    That looks like the result of Ted Kennedy and John Travolta going out for
    a night on the town.

  75. vlad Says:
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    Byrd was having flashbacks to his Klan days.

  76. vlad Says:
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    TV commercial: Lady in her 60′s with labored breathing and a tuberculan cough.
    She holds up her bottle of Humira and says,”well, my arthritis pain is gone.”

  77. SesameStreetgang Says:
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    “Halo: Because you can’t teabag people in real life.”

  78. greg Says:
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    .

    pg.jpg

  79. Alex Says:
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    Two thumbs because this company probably owns a controlling share in all the products put forth so far (even the fake ones).

  80. Alex Says:
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    I hadn’t really thought of it this way, but it seems quite true. And really funny when I think about the people I know who claim they are “addicted” to the food network. I think there’s a scene in one of Vonnegut’s books Slaughterhouse Five or Breakfast of Champions, I think wherein the aliens that are hosting the protagonist go to a cinema and gasp at the orgiastic spectacle of a woman eating fruit.

  81. Alex Says:
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    I can’t believe it’s actually got the word “Sham” in the name. But it is made in Germany.

  82. Jakutz Says:
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    Lubriderm Hand Moisturizer

    “It’s not really for your hands.”

  83. greg Says:
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    It’s true.
    I own one, and stairs are a bitch!

  84. naterator fried Says:
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    Food.

    Eat it when you’re watching the biggest loser.

    I do.

  85. greg Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +3

    Item #334-A
    Gold’s Gym Stylish Free Standing Closet.
    While it has many hanging rods and flat surfaces for folded clothes, the true brilliance of this piece is that you can throw practically anything at it, and it will find a place to stick. Keep your floor tidy!

    gym.jpg

  86. SesameStreetgang Says:
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    That’s Slaughterhouse Five

  87. Alex Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Danke. I remember thinking that event in the book was absurd/funny, but there was a lot of truth to it too. So it goes with Vonnegut.

  88. SesameStreetgang Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +4

    Look! Boobies!
    -Girls Gone Wild

  89. greg Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +2

    1-800-FLOWERS
    You call us.
    We contract out to local florists.
    We double the price.
    You spend lots.
    We deliver a chintzy little arrangement that looks like it cost half of what you paid.
    You get a thank you. (What kind of ingrate would knock your flowers?)
    You assume we are the greatest thing since the Roomba robot vacuum. (see next ad)
    We prosper.
    Yea, us.

  90. greg Says:
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    ROOMBA electronic robot vacuum
    IT REALLY SUCKS

  91. SesameStreetgang Says:
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    “Because you think disabled people have it easy.”
    -Segway

  92. greg Says:
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    Computer, $1,098.68
    Internet connection, $30.00/month
    Winning a Mental Magma weekly contest, priceless

    What the hell does that have to do with VISA?

  93. Alex Says:
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    La-Z-Man Chips and Salsa
    No thought required – just open ‘n’ eat!

  94. Alex Says:
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    Airborne Immune System Enhancer
    Teacher’s edition: Accept no substitutes!

  95. Alex Says:
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    Coffee Table Books
    Look at these big, glossy pictures! Everyone loves shiny things!
    Put it in your living room to give your home that “cultured” look!
    Content-free text included.

  96. Alex Says:
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    The Canon Powershot Digital Camera
    Fits in your pocket so you can take photos of your unsuspecting friends and enemies and humiliate them with the powers of the internet!

  97. SesameStreetgang Says:
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    Touche sir. Very pithy.

  98. cjb14 Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +1

    The Snuggie
    The newest trend in Cult Wardrobe!
    Allows for easy access to your favorite cyanide laced beverage, and also serves as a decorative covering cloth for your lifeless body, all while keeping you totally warm!

  99. vlad Says:
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    I know I’m too late, but what the hell.
    Kalashnikov: When you absolutely, positively have to kill every
    motherf–ker in the room.

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