Sep 01 2008

Contest #10: Edutainment

Category: Uncategorized @ 12:32 am

We made it to double-digit contests! (Keep in mind, I ration myself to one exclamation point per month, so that gives you an idea of how excited I am). We decided to use the winning entry from last week’s contest as this week’s competition. This week, user Bunny Slippers will be a guest judge (meaning she’ll get to choose one of the finalists).

This week’s contest is to create a portmanteau word. You can click on the link for a full description, but a brief definition is that a portmanteau is a word created from two other words. Sexpert (sex + expert), and Barrack-tober (what Barrack Obama wants to rename the 10th month) are portmanteaus. This is going to be a merch contest, so we’ll put the most clever, funny, or inventive entries on t-shirts and other products in our online store.

You can make your entry a saying, slogan, or sentence that includes a portmanteau, or can just be a portmanteau by itself. Standard contest timeline and contest rules apply. By leaving an entry you are agreeing to those rules. The entry voted the favorite by MM users will earn its author a $25 Amazon.com Gift Certificate and a $15 Mental Magma Online Store gift certificate.

Contest Summary
Assignment
: Create a portmanteau word (either by itself or as part of a slogan, saying, or sentence)
How to enter: Write your entry in the Contest Entries section.
Deadline: Friday, September 5th at 5pm EST
Prize: a $25 Amazon.com Gift Certificate AND a $15 Mental Magma Online Store gift certificate.

Announcement: This contest is closed. Feel free to continue to leave your answers here, but you'll be doing so strictly for our edification. Why don't you check out the latest update or contest?

photo by flickr user waffler

1,263 Responses to “Contest #10: Edutainment”

  1. greg Says:
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    Contesticles – the rather “ballsy” willingness to take risks in games of chance and public opinion. As in: “In starting the 10th contest with this entry, Greg hoped he showed that he had the contesticles to win. But he also feared that he was simply revealing the next portmanteau.”

  2. greg Says:
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    Mental MagMaMa – the mythical goddess of the site http://www.mentalmagma.com who, according to legend, punished errant bloggers by crushing their contesticles. As in: “Greg’s intent was not to be sexist or crude, and he hoped that Mental MagMaMa and her priestesses realized that.”

  3. fooly cooly Says:
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    purricane–what envelops you when you bring catnip to the crazy catlady’s house

  4. fooly cooly Says:
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    argh nm should have googled this first

  5. greg Says:
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    Perogatory – It is a woman’s perogative to change her mind. This is the state of limbo brought about by the enabling of such indecision.

  6. greg Says:
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    Magmaddict – Anyone who has ever found themselves uncontrollably throwing entries into Mental Magma contests and thinking of entries when they’re offline.

  7. greg Says:
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    preogative
    preogatory
    mea culpa

  8. greg Says:
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    no…pregatory…gee, good idea, lousy execution

  9. greg Says:
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    fixiticker – the little clock that counts down our editing window of opportunity after making a comment

  10. Jakutz Says:
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    I had Beereal at my friend’s apartment last year. He had cereal, but no milk. Unfortunately, when I googled it, I discovered that someone else has come up with it (although I doubt they actually tried it). I think I went with Natty and Golden Puffs.

  11. Jakutz Says:
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    Maybe if I submit a video of myself eating it, this will be considered a legitimate entry?

  12. Jakutz Says:
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    Legitimaternal (legitimate + maternal): being one’s mother accordant with law or with established legal forms and requirements. “Was Jenny adopted?” “No, her biological father left when she was young, but Mrs. Johnson is legitimaternal.”

  13. Jakutz Says:
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    Placenter (placenta + center): The center of the placenta. Once thought to be nasty, the placenter is now considered the tastiest part of the placenta.

  14. Jakutz Says:
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    Dejakutz (deja vu + Jakutz): the experience of feeling sure that you have already read this entry (or another by Jakutz).

  15. Jakutz Says:
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    Tonion- 2,000 lbs of onions (usually associated with smell). “Dude, did you work out today because you smell like a tonion.”

  16. tlawhon Says:
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    Chennirailed(Dick Chenney mixed with railroaded)-Man after the last 8 yrs of being Chennirailed, I don’t know if I can handle 4 more years of McSame.

  17. Mrs. Sara Says:
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    As a pregnant woman, I can’t help but love this.

  18. Mrs. Sara Says:
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    Telepatasker: One who is adept at using telepathy to find out exactly what their wife is thinking. A telepatasker is often considered the most successful of the male species, having mastered understanding of the female mind, and will often be repaid for their skill with offers of conjugal relations.

    Ex: What do you mean, you didn’t clean out the garage? I know I didn’t ask you to, but if you loved me enough, you’d be a telepatasker and figure it out!

  19. Mrs. Sara Says:
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    …oh, and also be a little grossed out by it…

  20. greg Says:
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    telepathetic – (adjective) describing the truth behind the feminine belief that there are male telepataskers who can actually discern telepatasks.

  21. greg Says:
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    Further, threatening conjugal bliss should the man fail at his ‘task makes the female a conjuggler.

    btw-i voted for telepatasker

  22. dlawhon Says:
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    Movoidance- The curious way that phones don’t get answered when everyone knows your moving. As in: We moved the entire house with no help, thanks to a little movoidance.

  23. smodaresi Says:
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    As a woman who just gave birth, I can’t help but love this as well…I don’t really think placentas are tasty, but darn if they aren’t the most amazing organs!

  24. smodaresi Says:
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    If only…sigh!

  25. Jakutz Says:
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    nice!

  26. Jakutz Says:
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    Moonoon (moon + noon): Midnight. “What time is it?” “Wow, it’s only moonoon.”

  27. Jakutz Says:
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    When I googled this, I found that it was someone’s alias online. However, it was only used as a name and didn’t have a definition. I think it counts.

  28. Jakutz Says:
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    showack – Man to hand romance in the shower.

  29. Jakutz Says:
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    Humunchies (human + munchies)- What cannibals crave when they’re high. “I have no idea what’s going on right now, but I’m going to die if we don’t get some humunchies immediately.”

  30. Gabriel Says:
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    I want to address the originality issue. If you come up with a portmanteau and then Google it and find it exists somewhere else, it isn’t necessarily disqualified. What I would recommend is that, since this is a merch contest, you use the portmanteau in a slogan or phrase. An example would be “Portmanteau: definition…”.

    The entries must be the products of your imagination, and if you arrive at one independently and it isn’t copyrighted material, it’s probably fair game. If it just happens to be used once somewhere else on the internet on a message board or something, go ahead and use it. Unless we suspect you’re just copying, the worst we’ll do is say that particular entry isn’t in play.

  31. Jakutz Says:
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    seXY (sexy + XY)- A sexy man. A t-shirt would say “I’m seXY” or just “seXY”. I also think it would be cool if the stem of the Y extended downward (the Y chromosome is what makes you a man, so show off what makes you a man).

  32. Jakutz Says:
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    I may want to keep this idea for myself.

  33. greg Says:
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    Plagiarhythm – (noun) the musical theft of a rhythmic bass line in the hope that the listener is too lazy or musically illiterate to recognize why that “new song” sounds so familiar.

  34. greg Says:
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    shreknology – the creative use (overuse?) of mud, slugs, and poo as condiments and beauty aids in the Shrek franchise.

  35. drewbert Says:
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    Seezer ( pronounced SEEZER) – A combination of sexy and geezer. We have to have a way of talking about my roommate’s sexy grandmother without him finding out.

  36. Soleil Says:
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    Vocaphobia (vocal + phobia): Fear of conducting a conversation without the use of text messaging, IM, email, etc.

  37. drewbert Says:
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    Evangealousy – ( ee van jel É™ssee ) A combination of Evangelical and Jealousy.

    The hypocritical act of claiming to be in accordance with the gospel, yet being envious of what others have.

    “The women in the 3rd row of the choir stared at the woman’s sweater evangealously”

  38. greg Says:
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    ANALOG-RETENTIVE DIGISASTER:
    The avoidable but inevitable moment in February of 2009 when the television industry goes digital, thousands of analog sets are rendered useless, and the owners of those sets swear under oath that they had no warning or time to prepare and now “Idol” is on and what are they supposed to do now?

  39. Garrin Says:
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    Textincapacitated – (texting + incapacitated)
    “Poor Gary…that new girlfriend of his has got him textincapacitated…”

  40. Jakutz Says:
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    SAT&T (SAT + AT&T):
    Helping your friend get into college via text messages while he’s taking the SAT.

  41. Jakutz Says:
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    Humusopotamia:
    The alluvial plain between the twin rivers, the Tigris and the Euphrates that is occupied by chick pea dip.

  42. Jakutz Says:
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    Worthreshold:
    The point at which your parents kick you out of their house for being worthless.

  43. Jakutz Says:
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    Gonadequete:
    having sufficient gamete-producing organs.
    Women always find me more than gonadequete.

  44. vlad Says:
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    Palintology: The study of the Republican VP candidate.

  45. Jakutz Says:
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    Hepatightass:
    Inflammation of the liver due to the inability to loosen up.

  46. Jakutz Says:
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    Erogenerosity (erogenous generosity) :
    A habit of giving selflessly in the bedroom.
    “Come upstairs and I’ll show you some erogenerosity. I’m sure you’ll find me more than gonadequate.”

  47. drewbert Says:
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    Folklorticulture – tales about home farming/gardening techniques.

    The gardening community of Townsend is rich in folklorticulture.

  48. Mrs. Sara Says:
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    Is that anything like a GILF?

  49. IngShoe Says:
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    Spaneuter Your Pets!

    (spay + neuter)

  50. greg Says:
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    Excellent! Most excellent!

  51. greg Says:
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    Jakutz, you rule!
    I’d hate to be a judge this week!

  52. greg Says:
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    columnoscopy – the observational study of the architecture of the ancient world.

  53. fooly cooly Says:
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    mental magmannoying–jakutz endless entries into every contest

  54. drewbert Says:
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    No not at all

  55. drewbert Says:
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    But,yes it is. But our roommate doesn’t know the word yet.

  56. Ms. Sanchez Says:
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    McTics

    In the spirit of the Republican National Convention… McTics=John McCain politics

    Or if you are Democrat Baraktics… Barak politics.

  57. Mrs. Sara Says:
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    Do I get a fraction of your votes for inspiring your entry? ;)

  58. Mrs. Sara Says:
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    I want to live there!

  59. vlad Says:
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    Arachnicrat: One born to the ruling class of spiders, ticks, scorpions or mites.
    Arachnid, aristocrat.
    Think of the T-shirt possibilities.

  60. Ian Randal Strock Says:
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    Fantabulicious!

  61. Ian Randal Strock Says:
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    Comingupnexterval: the five-minute delay between the disc jockey
    announcing what music he’ll be playing next and the beginning of that set
    of music (usually filled with commercials which really are what’s coming
    up next, but never mentioned in polite company).

  62. Taylor Says:
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    Orbituary death notice of a bad person which gives the reader “a good clean feeling, no matter what.”

  63. greg Says:
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    fed ex machina – the last minute use of “same day delivery” to save your tail

  64. greg Says:
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    Chinapult – the act of using hard work, dedication, and 10 billion dollars to prove that you are better at something than someone else.

  65. greg Says:
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    Olimpeon – what the newscasters are really saying about a flash-in-the-pan Olympic contestant who doesn’t do as well as expected, whines about aches and pains holding him back, and returns to his job at McDonalds.

    “Well, that’s it for So-and-So, but it’s being here that counts, and he’ll always be an olimpeon.”

  66. R.E.D. Says:
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    INSOMNINTERNETITIS:
    I ain’t going to sleep until I’ve Googled EVERYTHING! (Insomnia, internet, any disease ending in, “itis”.

    He is so hooked on the internet that even Ambian won’t help his insomninternetitis.

  67. R.E.D. Says:
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    Sorry, I misspelled Ambien.

  68. greg Says:
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    noncents – Often seen sitting next to cash registers, the bowls of pennies that are used to pay for gas pump overages and for rounding up change.

  69. R.E.D. Says:
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    Maybe I should just say, “sleeping pills” instead of a specific product?

  70. greg Says:
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    repetension – the building sense of frustration as you punch in your 42-digit account number three times while you navigate automated phone services only to finally get to a live person whose first words are, “What is your 42-digit account number?”

  71. greg Says:
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    serialousy – a combination of serial and really lousy, this term describes the placement and font size of the serial number sticker which the phone tech needs to continue to assist you.

  72. R.E.D. Says:
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    Mental Magmaddict: Jakutz, or anyone else addicted to this site.
    :)

  73. R.E.D. Says:
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    bullbushiterism: Anything that G.W. has ever said.
    (bullsh*t, Bush, anachronism)

  74. R.E.D. Says:
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    captionolistic: The belief that by analyzing a caption you can get an idea of the writer’s physical, mental, and social condition at the time it was written.
    (caption, holistic)

  75. R.E.D. Says:
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    captionolisticoholic: someone who REALLY believes that by analyzing a caption you can get an idea of the writer’s physical, mental, and social condition at the time it was written and can’t stop doing it.

    (caption, holistic, alcoholic)

  76. R.E.D. Says:
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    anticaptionolisticestablishmentarian: a person who believes that the captionolistic influence will corrupt society and devalue the dollar.

    Antiestablishmentarian, caption, holistic)

  77. R.E.D. Says:
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    O.K., I’ll stop now.

  78. fooly cooly Says:
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    this one is great. only slightly not as good as arachnicrat. too bad i think that slogan is copyrighted

  79. Jay Bryan Says:
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    FireFighter–One who puts out fires.

  80. R.E.D. Says:
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    Mental Magmnesia: A condition that makes you forget to enter the Mental Magma contest each week.

    (Mental Magma, amnesia)

    He entered the Mental Magma contest every week until he got Mental Magmnesia!

  81. R.E.D. Says:
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    NOTE: The only cure for Mental Magmnesia is to have the Mental Magma site as your home page.

  82. R.E.D. Says:
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    Sorry, greg, I missed seeing your entry before I entered Mental Magmaddict. Sorry.

  83. R.E.D. Says:
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    Appologies to greg’s #5 entry. I missed seeing it before I wrote mine.

  84. Gabriel Says:
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    Mental Magmnesia is a serious affliction that affects billions of people every week. The home page solution is effective, but we also recommend signing up for our RSS feed, or our email updates (you can register in the top right corner of this or any page). Please, do what you can, I don’t like to think about a world in which people forget to come to MentalMagma.com.

  85. Mrs. Sara Says:
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    The cure to this condition is Milk of Magmesia. I hope that helps.

  86. R.E.D. Says:
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    Obitchuary?

  87. Jakutz Says:
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    Awesome!

  88. Jakutz Says:
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    Mrs. Sara just opened a can of incredible.

  89. R.E.D. Says:
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    Intercourequest: Hey, you wanna ****?
    (intercourse, request)

    The PG version: Hey, you wanna make love?

    He got slapped in the face after making an intercourequest!

  90. Jakutz Says:
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    When I first read this I wanted to battack (attack back), but then I realized that I have entered about 73 into this contest… so far. Sorry for being a deuche (deuce + douche- twice as bad as a regular douche). I have an excusellent (excellent excuse) though: Bunny Slippers came up with a fun and awesome contest! Huge props to her.

  91. Jakutz Says:
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    Ouch. I guess one could say I just got R.E.D.iculed.

  92. c2 Says:
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    spiceberg – that lump of stuff that floats to the top of your Top Ramen before it gets warm enough to melt.

    She was so hungry she mashed up the spiceberg with her spork.

  93. c2 Says:
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    Zenergy – the buzz you get from Yoga, meditation and the like.

    He felt a rush of sudden zenergy as his muscles relaxed into a perfect downward dog.

  94. Stevel Knievel Says:
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    Scumdouchtarded Diddlyfricker: A scummy retarded douchebag who f*cks around all day doing diddly-squat.

  95. Sandy Says:
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    Slore (slut + whore). I stole it from someone, don’t know who.

  96. Sandy Says:
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    Here’s how I would use it in a sentence: “Awww, that biatch is such a slore, you’ll be able to throw it in her no problem. She’s flappin’ in the wind!”

  97. IngShoe Says:
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    Seinference (Seinfeld + reference)
    A reference to a Seinfeld episode.
    “Bob made a seinference when the waiter wouldn’t serve him his soup.”

  98. IngShoe Says:
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    Seinfusing (Seinfeld + infusing)
    Scattering words or phrases from the Seinfeld show through one’s speech.
    “Joe couldn’t make it through the conversation without seinfusing at least ten times.”

  99. Mrs. Sara Says:
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    I love it!

  100. Ms. Sanchez Says:
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    heeeeeeelooooo *in the voice* I love it. I do this all the time!! haha

  101. greg Says:
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    Sure! It will be cool just to own a shirt (or whatever) that I even participated in designing. I’m much more into this for the immortality of being someone’s favorite tee!

  102. greg Says:
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    don’t worry…it must’ve been a good idea!

  103. greg Says:
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    you are German, ya?

  104. greg Says:
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    And he replied, “I meant talking!”

  105. greg Says:
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    mental magmanagement – the difficult, sometimes harrowing job of harvesting ideas for merchandising while seeing a contest through to the end, even when the mental magma threatens to become mental lava.

  106. greg Says:
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    Exercyst – when exercise brings on a condition of chronic knee pain and cysts behind the knee, the condition is currently called Bakers cyst, but I propose this term as a more descriptive replacement. COMPARE: “Betty can’t come to work today. She has a Baker’s cyst.”
    “Betty can’t come to work today. Something about an exorcist…” (Can’t blame Betty for that misunderstanding.)

  107. greg Says:
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    hobophobe – the person who irrationally fears homeless men who hang out around railyards and occasionally wear face paint.

  108. Jakutz Says:
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    Gross. I award you +1.

  109. greg Says:
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    CAFFIN – [noun] the box wherein my brain, as yet denied its morning coffee, lies in repose awaiting the coming of the dark drink.

  110. greg Says:
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    Roseanne Stone – the archeological breakthrough which will allow science to decipher what we ever saw in Roseanne Barr

  111. greg Says:
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    Pyramania – a period in the history of a aation or culture that is marked by the frequent and obsessive construction of pyramids

  112. greg Says:
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    The Exodus was barely hours old when Pharoah realized that in sending every last Jew from Egypt, he would have to give up pyramids “cold turkey.”

  113. fooly cooly Says:
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    +1 for this sentence. reword it to actually use the word in it though

  114. greg Says:
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    right you are….hmmmmm…

  115. greg Says:
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    With the Exodus only hours old, Pharoah suddenly remembered that no more Jews meant no more locusts, no more blood in the Nile, no more angel of death, and NO MORE PYRAMIDS! VIctim to pyramania that he was, Ramses ordered his chariots to brings the Jews back, saying, “Go on, bring them back, and don’t look at me like that! I can quit building pyramids whenever I choose. I just don’t choose right now. Stop looking at me!”

  116. IngShoe Says:
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    Turnipple (turnip + nipple)
    The protuberant end of a turnip
    “When Tommy’s biology teacher showed everyone the turnipples he turned beet red.”

    This is known as root word humor. :-)

  117. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
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    I feel like I’ve heard that one somewhere before.

  118. greg Says:
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    oops…i split the definition and the sentence…and i’m afraid i’ve committed a…

  119. vlad Says:
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    Apocalypso:[common usage] The dance one does as the mushroom clouds loom
    overhead.

  120. greg Says:
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    nilly-tally : the impossibility of determining how many votes one candidate gets because it/he/she appears on the ballot more than once and in different ways, so that the separate tallies cannot just be added but ought not to be counted.

    “Let’s not dilly-dally over this nilly-tally, I have a headache and need my pilly-pally.”

  121. Mrs. Sara Says:
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    Alright, who invited Stevel?

  122. vlad Says:
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    Actually, the music one listens to as……

  123. Mrs. Sara Says:
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    I like it!

  124. Stevel Knievel Says:
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    i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to be proffensive (really good at offending people)

  125. Alex Says:
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    Mellifluenza: a sickness brought on by sweet things. (from mellifluous + influenza). “Todd groaned as his girlfriend began to weep at the reunion of the lovers in the film’s ending, holding his stomach at the onset of mellifluenza.”

  126. R.E.D. Says:
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    My friend and I have been using, “slo”,(slut+ho)for about 3 years. We didn’t think anyone but us knew what it meant :(

  127. R.E.D. Says:
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    You are just experiencing dejakutz…you are just experiencing dejakutz…you are just experiencing dejakutz…

  128. R.E.D. Says:
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    …and the deutsark. (deutsche + mark)

  129. Fluphy Says:
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    Cheermudgeon: Someone who is joyful about ruining everyone else’s fun by being cantankerous

  130. R.E.D. Says:
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    We need to start a fundraiser to find and cure all the Mental Magmnesiatics! I donate one deutsark!

  131. R.E.D. Says:
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    Mrs. Sara, Will you donate a case of Milk of Magmesia?

  132. R.E.D. Says:
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    So that’s what they’re calling it these days?

  133. R.E.D. Says:
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    You need to get a patent for your spiceberg breaker-upper spork!

  134. R.E.D. Says:
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    My best proffensive remark is when I tell my sister, “I’m going to stop pretending I care now.”

  135. R.E.D. Says:
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    One time my friend, Melli, thought she was a bird so Mellifluenzawindow.

  136. IngShoe Says:
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    Heeeeeeeellloooooooooo – La La La

  137. Padma Says:
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    PURRLOINED :
    To steal a cat.

    “I done purrloined me a itty bitty kitty.”

  138. Padma Says:
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    BEERENTIA
    The disease that causes one to forget where they left their beer.

    “I can’t find my Bud! I must be coming down with Beerentia.”

  139. Padma Says:
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    DECELLITATED :
    (Decapitated and cell phone)
    When your cell phone conversation gets cut off.

    “Barry was just about to propose when I got decellitated!”

  140. Padma Says:
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    BISALSA

    When someone dances salsa with a jar of salsa.

  141. Mrs. Sara Says:
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    Not offensive… just… how do you say…

  142. Kyr Says:
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    Villainilla Ice = guilty of plagiarhythm

  143. greg Says:
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    Diddly?

  144. Jessica Dunnican Says:
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    MalinCain – A prehistoric electoral eating dinosaur with the urge to yell “Will someone explain to me what exactly the V.P does?” at Hockey Games.

    Even if it doesn’t win a prize I would LOVE to see this on a shirt, lol.

  145. greg Says:
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    Wal-Martyr – Any long-time employee of you-know-where who has been fired for insubordination after trying to defend the way things were done “before Sam died” (BSD).

    “Penny wouldn’t let them see her cry, she would be a strong victim of their injustice for now, a worthy Wal-Martyr for the ideals of Mr. Sam.”

  146. Jessica Dunnican Says:
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    Obbiden- Fairly new found species with the ability to appear out of nowhere leaving people scratching their heads “Who is he?” (side note: feeds on large amounts of Cellulosic Ethanol.)

  147. Jessica Dunnican Says:
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    I can make pictures to go along with my entries if needed.

  148. Jessica Dunnican Says:
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    drogging- drunk blogging. The process of having a few to many then blogging to everyone about your new rash in the shape of New Jersey.

  149. Jessica Dunnican Says:
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    Goreen- (Gore/Green) The process of going green while still in search of Man-Bear-Pig.

  150. Jessica Dunnican Says:
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    I could do this all night, ha ha. I think this one will be my last.

    toilough- (Toilet/cough)The process of coughing while in a public restroom to keep other from hearing your business.

    Mough- (Movie/ Cough) The process of coughing in a crowded theatre so you can open your .50 cent can of soda without getting caught.
    (Look for bough, opening bag of chips while cough.)

  151. greg Says:
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    Sounds like we have another Mental Magmaddict! Good luck!

  152. Alex Says:
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    Barnacular (multiple definitions)

    1. A common language shared by a group of barnacles (from Barnacle and Vernacular)
    2. A barn-raising event of rare significance, sometimes accompanied by pyrotechnics, in a rural community (from Barn and Spectacular)
    3. The drivel that comes out of your mouth when you attempt speech with an attractive individual at an alcohol-serving establishment (from Bar and Vernacular)

  153. Kyr Says:
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    Word Processeppuku: v. The act of repeatedly, often rhythmically causing your head to meet your desk upon realizing that you had neither saved nor printed your term paper when your computer crashed.

  154. Mrs. Sara Says:
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    Exactly! Thank you, Greg.

    ;)

  155. Alex Says:
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    Doorganization: a suspicious group or company (usually used as a front for bypassing legislation pertaining to monopolies or campaign contributions) that cannot be evidenced to exist except by a name on a door no one ever enters or leaves (or on a doorbell that never elicits response). See also Doorporation.

  156. Jakutz Says:
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    I get that all the time when I’m drinking! At that point in the night it’s probably a good thing though.

  157. Jakutz Says:
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    You’ve got a lot of good ones. This is one of my favorites.

  158. Jakutz Says:
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    Multiple definitions that work? Awesome!

  159. Jessica Dunnican Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    I LOVE THIS ONE!! lol, it so reminds me of everytime I’ve ever had to write ANYTHING.

  160. Stevel Knievel Says:
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    It’ Man-Bear-Pig! I told you he was real!

    (screw Al Gore)

  161. Jakutz Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +2

    Amuseum – An institution in the service of society which exhibits the humorous side of human development.

  162. Padma Says:
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    My friend told me he drank a lot at a party. I asked if he got drunk. He said No, because he could still stand up. Depends on your definition I guess!

  163. Jakutz Says:
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    I usually stop drinking when I realize that I don’t have any idea where I am or what happened to my pants.

  164. IngShoe Says:
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    What are the words that make up this portmanteau? I can see Word Processor, but where does eppuku come from?

  165. Garrett Says:
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    Spamidate
    (Spam + candidate)

    1. A candidate for office whose chances are so remote and whose reasons for running so inane that the candidacy is more of a nuisance than a viable option (viz. Bob Barr, Ralph Nader.)

    2. A nominee for elective office whose selection is so far beyond ridiculous and inappropriate as to be a baffling annoyance, rather than a viable option (viz. Sarah Palin.)

  166. Garrett Says:
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    Seppuku – the Japanese word for ritual suicide by (usually symbolically) cutting across the abdomen immediately before being beheaded by a second.

  167. dlawhon Says:
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    Jay, that is some kind of originality.. lol.

  168. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
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    This really is genius, love it.

  169. vlad Says:
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    Garrett, your #2 illustrates your total lack of understanding of the bitter,
    white, blue collar, gun-owning voter that McCain needed to win Ohio, Florida,
    Texas, and possibly, Michigan. That same lack of understanding was evident
    in the remarks made by the left-leaning political pundits and, so called
    journalists, which flooded the airwaves all weekend.
    The selection of Ms. Palin was the single, most savy political move made by
    the Republicans in more than 25 years.

    Signed,
    White, blue collar, gunowning, Floridian [I'm not that bitter]

  170. Padma Says:
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    Hmmm. So technically it’s murder, assuming one can’t decapitate oneself.

  171. Garrett Says:
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    Vlad, I daresay your calling the selection of Sarah Palin the GOP’s most savvy move in over 25 years shows either that the poor GOP has made very few savvy moves in the past generation or a dramatic overestimation of one particular demographic.

    There might be a lot of bitterness among white, blue-collar, gun-owning American males, but they are not a huge demographic group (nowhere near the “majority” that Bush campaigners used to like to claim.)

    Furthermore, adjusting for age, there’s a pretty solid correlation between income levelll and likelihood of actually voting. In other words, senior citizens are likely voters, people under 30 are not; wealthier people are more likely to vote (and less likely to be barred by not being able to take a Tuesday morning off work or having a prior felony conviction, if they’re Floridian.)

    Obama’s challenge is going to be to get all these youngsters to actually vote in the general. McCain, as you point out, is going to have the same challenge with the nominal GOP base.

    Ohio is among the most urbanized states in the union, one with at least two major growing urban centers and one major urban center on the decline. In both Ohio and Michigan, it’s going to be all about the economy and polls in both states show that slim majorities would like to see greater government involvement in health care. We are not, on the whole, a fiscally conservative nation in anything other than name.

    Florida has a large retiree population and, like Ohio and Michigan, a large population of people likely to vote primarily on economic issues. Only in Texas is the demographic you describe a huge factor and even there, economics are going to trump hunting (which is not even on the issue radar because so few Americans actually care.)

    Now, it could be that many people vote for McCain based on economic or foreign policy issues, but Palin is going to be more of a hindrance than a help in that she’s destroyed his experience argument, she’s unknown, she’s not bringing any substantial number of electoral votes, and there’s just not going to be enough time to get people who might be swayed – swing voters – to get to know her, trust her, and vote GOP because of her.

    I’d wager that most Americans who aren’t knee-jerk Republicans are looking at her as a pathetic attempt to pull disaffected Hillary voters (whose numbers are exaggerated) and conservatives mistrsutful of McCain in. MIstake.

    The most scathing remarks made about Palin came from Peggy Noonan, for Pete’s sake! If even Peggy Noonan is calling Palin’s selection “falling for this bullshit about narratives,” and saying, “It’s over,” things do not bode well.

  172. Garrett Says:
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    Yes. While seppuku was specifically outlawed after the Meiji Restoration (1867), it is rare partially because it is technically murder.
    The writer Mishima Yukio committed public seppuku in November 1970 and, among the many other charges filed against his two lieutenants, manslaughter was sought.

  173. vlad Says:
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    Hey, Garrett, I knew that I could count on you. Given the fact that the
    first half of your first sentence is right on the money, I thought that
    my broad statement was pretty safe.

    I guess that I’m behind the times if most of Americans are either
    degreed professionals or welfare recipients. I thought that there were
    still a great many electricians, mechanics, truckdrivers, plumbers,
    carpenters, maintenance men, factory workers, pole climbers, welders,
    steel fabricaters, hvac techs, appliance repairmen, etc. What category
    do these workers now fall into, or, are they now mostly just not white?

    I would think that 80 million gun owners, including 2 million one issue
    voters, is not that insignificant of a demographic. Only about 35% of
    gunowners actually are active hunters.

    It makes me wonder why Mr. Obama would even bother to mention these
    people in his speech in San Francisco.

    You’re exactly right that younger voter turnout is the key to an Obama
    victory.

    Are you predicting an Obama landslide in Florida?

    I’m sure that Ms. Noonan has her finger on the pulse of the opinions
    of the majority of us ignorant, uneducated, rarely bathed, possum
    eating, dirty handed, semi-literate, pickup driving degenerates. She
    comes in contact with us so often.

    I didn’t predict a McCain victory in November, but with almost any
    other VP candidate choice, he would have lost in a landslide.

    Mr.Obama could have already put this election in the record books,
    but his failure to select the obvious choice for a running mate has
    left the door open for an upset.

    I wood say more, but its getin’ close to supper time and that posum
    I ran ovr this mornin and throwed in the back of my truk ain’t gettin
    no fresher. You know the old sayin,”dead for a day, it’s still okay.
    dead for two and it’s only good for stew.”

    I wonder if Ms. Palin has any good recipes.

  174. greg Says:
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    Conclassion – ending a contest with a political debate about the American caste system.

    Make up your own sentence.

  175. vlad Says:
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    Aw, Greg, me and ole Garrett been doin this for a long time. We actually agree on some issues.

  176. greg Says:
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    I know, and I appreciate the intelligence both of you bring to the table. I wonder if this site could spawn another dedicated to discussions…I know there are a zillion of those out there, but I like the people on/in (?) this community.

  177. Gabriel Says:
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    Actually, we have a forum in the works for just such a purpose. I’ll make an announcement when it’s ready.

  178. greg Says:
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    Reading our minds again? Thanks!

  179. fooly cooly Says:
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    if it’s about politics count me out. democracy has little to do with rational thought

  180. R.E.D. Says:
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    She knows it’s a joke and a little game we play. I just wanted to see if it had T-shirt potential.

  181. Garrett Says:
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    Well, Vlad, I’d say that you’re overemphasizing two points:
    First, the gap between an average skilled blue collar worker – an independent master or experienced journeyman electrician, for example – and an average white collar worker is just not that big or that clear anymore. Income levels are similar, areas of residence are similar, hobbies are similar. I’d go so far as to guess that you probably have at least a few white collar friends, that you probably went to school with a number of people who are now white collar workers, etc. Heck, there might not even be a substantial income gap.

    Sarah Palin, for instance, is decidedly neither male nor blue collar, yet you feel an affinity with her even though she’s from a place the opposite of Florida in many ways.

    It’s no more safe to say that every gun-owning white blue collar male is going to vote for McCain than it is to say that every Obama voter is either a degreed professional or a welfare recipient. (Heck, most welfare recipients in the US are single white women, with the highest concentrations being in Southern states – not exactly Obama’s strong areas.)

    There are, to be sure, people who look at Obama and think, “He’s too yuppie,” or “He’s too. . . not white.” There are also probably people who look at McCain and think, “He’s too old,” or “He’s to friendly to gun-toting types.”

    But those things are unlikely to be the main issue for a huge chunk of the electorate. Polls often show huge numbers of single-issue gun or abortion voters, but where are they at the polls? Look at the conservative revolution of 1994. The evangelicals, gun-voters, and abortion-voters didn’t leave, but the fiscal conservatives did. It’s about money.

    Think about the numbers for a minute: 80 million gun-owners. You don’t think scientific rigor was abandoned at some point in that survey? That’s well over 1/3 of the adult population of the US. That means a lot of gun-owners are in favor of laws restricting gun ownership. That also means a lot of gun owners are living in otherwise “Blue” areas. If that number is accurate, it means a lot of gun owners vote in a way very different from what the NRA would have people believe and that guns are hardly a broadly unifying issue.

    Two million single-issue gun-voters? Hmm. . . When have guns been a major presidential campaign issue and when has a bloc of two million votes or less determined such an election? Perhaps more important, when do you hear the Obama camp talking about guns?

    You don’t? Don’t hear McCain spending much time on it? Means it’s not a big issue this time.

    Neither is abortion, clearly. So there go the big conservative litmus test issues.

    For Palin to really help McCain, a lot of people would have to decide that all those fears about Obama’s experience no longer matter, that choosing a candidate based on race or sex is no longer anathema, and that economic self-interest can come second. For many people, they’d be making more than one of the above decisions.

    The danger for conservatives is that they no longer really even debate with or counter actual liberals. The straw man has taken over the argument.
    How many actual liberals do you know who resemble the monsters attacked on Pajamas Media, for example (sorry, plugging the people who pay me, even though I’m liberal enough to not really fit in), or the Weekly Standard?

    Those people are as rare as the unwashed, possum-eating, religious fanatics of the Daily Kos readership’s nightmares.

    Bottom line is that the public perception of Palin is as inexperienced. That’s all. Two months is not enough time to get people to know her well enough to trust her with that “one heartbeat” position.

    Hunting caribou, firing top cops for not firing your ex-brother-in-law, making abortion a campaign issue in a small-town mayoral race, being a huse pork-barrel spender, etc. will come into even less than Joe Biden’s plagiarism or his inability to keep his trap shut when he ought to.

    Man, I’m ranting too much here.

    Oh, Peggy Noonan? Peggy Noonan might be rich and fussy, but she’s one of the most prominent American conservatives out there. (It baffles me that the possum-eaters would so vocally support the caviar-eaters. The GOP powers ain’t camping in the woods, they’re drinking Scotch in Jackson Hole. It’s all about money.)
    Presumably, McCain picked Palin to help him woo the conservatives who don’t like him. That’s going to be a hard sell.

    Will Obama win Florida? I don’t know. I think we’re going to see a big division between where I was from and (if I’m correctly guessing who you are), where you’re from.

    Where I am now, though, food prices are some of the highest in the world and going up, so let me know if you have any of that possum left over, Vlad. Unless one resorts to cannibalism, there’s no meat on the hoof around here.

  182. Garrett Says:
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    How about focusing on undemocratic politics. No shortage of that around.

  183. vlad Says:
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    Garrett, I was happy to see that you responded. First, I worked in the
    blue collar sector for 20 something years and for the last 15 as a small
    business owner in the whitish collar sector. My values didn’t change
    when I changed occupations. As a blue collar worker, I earned a larger
    income than 50% of white collar workers. It’s not just about the income
    level with nearly all voters. After the last two presidential elections
    I watched the experts as they scratched their heads with disbelief that
    voters would vote against their percieved economic interests, but, in
    enough cases to matter in the vote count, they did.

    I can’t really find any part of my posts which expressed an affinity
    for Mrs. Palin, I just think that her selection was the best possible
    choice that Mc. could have come up with. He was sagging in the polls
    and now he’s not. And, whether or not SP is just “folks” at this point
    in her political career, she will most likely become just another elitist
    politician if her team is elected and she spends enough time in the District
    of Criminals. Power is a disease that most aren’t able to avoid upon
    exposure.

    I have no disagreement with paragraph 3.

    Ditto, paragraph 4.

    In the three areas of the country that I have lived in the gun ownership
    rate has been much, much larger than 30%. Many gun owners do live in blue
    areas, just not enough to make a difference in those areas. While some gun-
    owners do favor some restrictions,[no gun ownership for convicted violent
    felons, the criminally insane, etc] the majority do not support such
    measures as the ,so called “assault weapons ban” which actually banned
    only certain features such as flash hiders and folding stocks. Most
    gunowners don’t belong to the NRA [I don't] and in many cases view the
    NRA with derision for cutting too many deals. The depiction of the NRA as
    the bastion and savior of gun rights is a charicature and many in the gun
    rights community regard the NRA as the largest gun control organization in
    the world. As our congressman said publicly iduring his campaign, “Being
    on the correct side on the issues of guns and water is a winner in north
    Florida.” Most gunowners won’t respond “yes” when asked if they own firearms
    in any type of poll. Would 50’000 gunowning Democrats in N. FL.have made
    a difference in the 2000 election? Every gunowner knows exactly what Mr.
    Obama’s position is on that issue, he doesn’t have to say a word during
    his campaign. Garrett, I don’t wish to insult you, but you are about as
    knowledgeable on this particular issue as I would be on ancient Japanese
    architechure.

    Don’t confuse Republicans with conservatives. Ayn Rand was conservative.
    Goldwater was conservative. Big government, prescription drug benefits,
    foreign interventionism. Conservative concepts? Neocons are liberals in
    denial. Reagan talked a good conservative line but expanded government,
    ran up huge deficits, and banned an entire class of firearms. Moderate
    at best.

    Substance means little. Logic means less in an election. Bill Clinton
    received many votes because he was considered handsome. Palin’s glasses
    will win some for her.
    Both sides have losing, illogical tickets, yet one side will win.

    In my lifetime we have had one president that was addicted to prescription
    pain killers, one that showed up drunk at staff meetings, one suffering
    from early signs of alsheimers sp?, and a current one that probably
    begins staff meetings with “pull my finger” and giggles as he makes bunny
    ears behind the vice-presidents head. No matter whom we elect, the decline
    of the American working and middle classes will continue.
    A good dose of Mr. Obama may be just what our country needs.

    If I decide to participate in the “Big Show” at all, I won’t cast a ballot
    that perpetuates the Two[one] party fiasco. I don’t take pro wrestling
    seriously either.

    I haven’t eaten possum in more than 40 years, but you can come to my house
    for sandwiches anytime.

  184. vlad Says:
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    Garrett, just to clarify. The issues to which I refer in my gunowner paragraph are: number of gunowning Americans, their attitudes, motivations and voting patterns. You are obviously very informed and knowledgeable on many subjects, including politics, in a mainstream, conventional wisdom sort of way. I did not intend to offend.

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