Sep 15 2008

Contest #12: Villainous Limerick

Category: Uncategorized @ 12:01 am

We at MM love villains, just love ‘em. They’re more fun to watch than heroes, usually more complex, and throw better parties. You’ve never seen anybody do the worm on a dance-floor until you’ve seen Vader use the force to make someone do it against their will. It is for these reasons we wish you compose an ode to these megalomaniacs.

This week’s challenge is to write a limerick about a villain of your choice. If you’re unfamiliar with how to write a limerick, ehow.com has a nice primer on the subject. In short, a limerick is a poem in which the 1st and 2nds lines rhyme with each other, the 3rd and 4th lines rhyme with each other, and the 5th line rhymes with the 1st and 2nd lines.

Your entry will be judged on creativity, humor, and fidelity to the limerick structure (don’t differ from the rhyme scheme, write more than 5 lines, etc). Standard contest timeline and contest rules apply. By leaving an entry you are agreeing to those rules. The entry voted the favorite by MM users will earn its author a $25 Amazon.com Gift Certificate & book entitled How to Rule the World (a humorous book for aspiring dictators).

Contest Summary
Assignment
: Compose a limerick about the villain of your choice.
How to enter: Write your entry in the Contest Entries section.
Deadline: Friday, September 19th at 5pm EST
Prize: A $25 Amazon.com Gift Certificate & a How to Rule the World book.

Announcement: This contest is closed. Feel free to continue to leave your answers here, but you'll be doing so strictly for our edification. Why don't you check out the latest update or contest?



161 Responses to “Contest #12: Villainous Limerick”

  1. Agent Mammal Says:
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    Some say Star Wars is a myth
    that there never existed a Sith
    but as Vader points out
    lest you have any doubt
    it’s more plausible than Joseph Smith

  2. Agent Mammal Says:
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    I’d like to point out that I didn’t begin this limerick with the intention of making fun of Mormons, the rhyme just took me in that direction.

  3. greg Says:
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    To the Joker they ought to bequeath
    Hollywood’s most highly-prized wreath
    But I fear tradition may doom us
    They seldom reward the posthumous
    So I’ll just say, “We’ll miss you, Heath.”

  4. Stevel Knievel Says:
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    this villain is really a prick.
    he always shows up when you click
    on the youtube movie
    that you’d most like to see,
    but instead you just get roll’d by NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP,
    NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN, NEVER GONNA RUN AROUND AND DESERT YOU,
    NEVER GONNA MAKE YOU CRY, NEVER GONNA SAY GOODBYE,
    NEVER GONNA TELL A LIE AND HURT YOU

    (gotcha, suckerz)

  5. Stevel Knievel Says:
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    A man who is paid just to scowl.
    Whose language oft verges on foul.
    He launches careers,
    Or ends them in tears,
    That wicked old grouch: Simon Cowell.

  6. greg Says:
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    You will notice that there’s quite a war on
    It all started when the Dark Lord named Sauron
    Couldn’t find his one ring
    And thought we’d hidden the thing!
    No one hides weapons anymore, the old moron!

  7. Stevel Knievel Says:
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    The Opera is usually kind
    But once in a while you’ll find
    The darkest of things
    lurks behind she who sings.
    The Phantom is there in your mind.

  8. Stevel Knievel Says:
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    They say she was really a beast
    But all too soon she was deceased
    When a house from the sky
    forced an early goodbye
    from the Wicked old Witch of the East.

    She’s known for her memorable death.
    It’s a scene that is really her best.
    She melted real slow
    In that cold H2O:
    That Wicked green Witch of the West.

  9. zabo Says:
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    If you find green suits fashion’bly hot,
    and you backwardly speak quite a lot,
    perhaps you’ve become one,
    with the quizzical one,
    therefore: Riddle me this, will you not?

  10. greg Says:
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    Not all villains must wear a turban
    Or shoot people in places suburban
    For the one I most fear
    Just put his Chrysler in gear
    After downing his third glass of bourbon

  11. zabo Says:
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    Once in a while, cartoons are quite racist;
    It’s a fact and we really must face this.
    But a fu-manchu’d bastard,
    who’s acting the dastard?
    The Mandarin’s got to be pissed!

  12. zabo Says:
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    When Prince Adam and Cringer get rollin’,
    and through the woods they go patrollin’,
    there’s a skeleton man,
    says he masters the land,
    but Greyskull he still ain’t controllin’.

  13. greg Says:
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    Will someone please give a rational answer
    Why anyone would use growth hormone enhancer
    Just to get a medal of gold
    But have no chance to grow old
    Haven’t we lost enough dear friends to cancer?

  14. zabo Says:
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    The guy is from Transylvania,
    and he suffers from serious mania,
    always out biting necks,
    though, he’s rather complex,
    he’s killed more than the Lusitania.

  15. zabo Says:
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    wow. I need to stop reading new contests when its late, I seem to go entry-crazy.

  16. Jakutz Says:
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    There once was a jerk named Osama,
    who was promised by his momma,
    he’d get virgins in heaven,
    lining up ten by seven,
    but all he got was a llama.

  17. Jakutz Says:
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    Gabriel drank too many beers,
    he went crazy and now he sears,
    magmaddicts brains,
    till nothing remains,
    with his “Molten hot idears”.

  18. Jakutz Says:
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    Nixon decided to look,
    into the Watergate book,
    he was blamed,
    and yet he claimed,
    “I am not a crook.”

  19. smodaresi Says:
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    I can just hear the song in my head!

  20. Jakutz Says:
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    Megatron was killed by a truck,
    who grabbed the Allspark and stuck,
    it into his chest,
    and laid him to rest,
    before he could say “What the…” {dying robot sounds}.

  21. Jakutz Says:
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    We, the borg, do not smile,
    this ship is one cubic mile,
    you’ll be one of us,
    so don’t make a fuss,
    resistance is futile.

  22. Jakutz Says:
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    You’ll speak with more than one tone,
    once you become a drone,
    your biological,
    and technological,
    distinctiveness added to our own.

    I really hope there are some fellow trekkies among us.

  23. greg Says:
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    If dilithium crystals were real
    We’d all be able to steal
    A starship from space
    Since whatever the case
    Bypassing them unlocks the wheel

  24. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
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    I think there are a lot of creative and talented people on this site, but sometimes I think Greg & Jakutz need their own MM league. How am I ever supposed to win with those two around?

    *Goes back to brainstorming for Greg-and-Jakutz-besting limerick*

  25. greg Says:
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    I count the Enterprise captains as two
    James T. and Jean-Luc ought to do
    Kirk versus Picard
    The choice is too hard
    Perhaps someone should go and ask Q

  26. greg Says:
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    I can stop anytime that I want to
    If it ate at my soul like it does you.
    Why not give it a try
    And then you’ll see why
    I can’t stop, I have to type in these last two.

  27. Stevel Knievel Says:
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    I’ll say what they’ve all said before.
    We don’t want you posting no more.
    How can we compete
    with such a spamming cheat?
    Nevermind, bring it on! This is war.

  28. greg Says:
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    Did you really just call me a cheat?
    And did you mean to turn up the heat?
    What once was just fun
    Is now the slaughter begun
    We cheating villains will enjoy some fresh meat

  29. greg Says:
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    That felt wrong…fun…but very wrong.

  30. Stevel Knievel Says:
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    When Star Wars fans sit around chillin’
    You’d think Vader’s got us all illin’.
    When the real threat appears
    It soon becomes clear:
    THE TREKKIES ARE REALLY THE VILLAIN

  31. Stevel Knievel Says:
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    I’m praying to Powers that Be
    and calling all Muses to me!
    If you post one more time
    You’ll be slaughtered by rhyme.
    JUST TRY IT AGAIN AND YOU’LL SEE

  32. greg Says:
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    You’re really quite good at this game
    I still only think it’s a shame
    Tha

  33. Padma Says:
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    The worst villain is actually insidious

    His war crimes are totally hideous

    The vote he did not win

    Killed the planet, what a sin!

    Bush’s English is less than fastidious.

  34. Stevel Knievel Says:
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    what happened to greg? we were having so much fun! :(

  35. Jakutz Says:
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    Awesome!

  36. Brendan Says:
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    He’s a robot instigator
    and a Sarah Conner raider
    He likes to attack
    and say “I’ll be back”
    He’s the F’ing Terminator

  37. Brendan Says:
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    The evil Decepticons
    are lead by Megatron
    but raise roof
    because Shia LaBeouf
    said “Autobots, c’mon!”

  38. Stevel Knievel Says:
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    are we sure “roof” rhymes with “labeouf”? maybe so….. hmmm.

  39. Jakutz Says:
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    Greg left as soon as he read,
    something you must have said,
    but now I’m here,
    to mock and jeer,
    now I’m the one to dread.

  40. Jakutz Says:
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    This doesn’t come with ease,
    Greg and I have a disease,
    it’s hard to explain,
    we’ve got one brain,
    but two personalities.

    You switched us with your rhyme,
    now he’s silent as a mime,
    didn’t you notice,
    that both of us,
    are never here at the same time.

  41. Jakutz Says:
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    There’s a secret I will tell,
    it will help you to excel,
    if you need a chance,
    to help you advance,
    just tell us to go to hell.

  42. Mrs. Sara Says:
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    DANGIT!

    We’ve known each other… for so long…

  43. Mrs. Sara Says:
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    Well done!

  44. Jakutz Says:
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    If you check our roots,
    you’ll know we’re in cahoots,
    though uncouth,
    you must hear the truth,
    Our full name is Greg D. Jakutz

  45. Jakutz Says:
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    Now that’s villainous!

  46. Jakutz Says:
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    Damn. I should have said Gregory Jakutz!

  47. smodaresi Says:
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    All you warring poets need to submit your retorts as new comments so we can thumb-up you!

  48. IngShoe Says:
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    You slaughtered him in mid-limrick #23!

  49. IngShoe Says:
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    Poor Greg was slaughtered by Stevel
    Whose name sounds incredibly evil
    He warned Greg and said,
    “One more and you’re dead”
    But Greg ignored Mr. Knievel.

  50. greg Says:
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    Take a seat before reading this verse
    If you fall down it will only be worse
    But my brother Jakutz
    May not be so nuts
    When he told the story of our family curse

    In truth we don’t know one another
    Though it’s fun to call him my brother
    But when he mentioned disease
    I felt a sudden unease
    ‘Cause it seemed as though he knew my mother

    So it’s Parkinson’s Disease that I host
    And I figure I have it better than most
    But you don’t want to share
    What’s under my hair
    I know! Let’s share the brain of which you boast!

  51. Bunny Slippers Says:
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    It’s bad that my villain’s the Prez
    But all that he do and he sez
    Causes bad things to hap
    :An I jus wanna slap
    Till he’s forced to admit :an confez

  52. greg Says:
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    Three points to IngShoe for watching the plot
    His first name may be Walk, may be Run, I know not
    But he’s quick on the draw
    And he saw what he saw
    Playing possum was the correct answer, I thought

  53. Alex Says:
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    I once heard the creek of my door-hinge.
    The figure that entered was orange.
    Staining my breakfast purple,
    he fled like quicksilver:
    The un-rhymable “Burglar of Porridge”.

  54. Emily Says:
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    He’d never show up in court
    But he does have support
    He prefers trying to kill Harry Potter
    With spells and slaughter
    Known as Lord Voldemort

  55. Jakutz Says:
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    Another hint:

    If your mind needs to be freed,
    this will help indeed,
    go to the street,
    ask someone you meet,
    if you can buy some weed.

    In no way do I condone the use or trafficking of narcotics.

  56. Barnaby Hayes Says:
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    Mr Burns is the skinny old guy,
    who blocked out the sun in the sky,
    Bart once was his heir,
    and he lived in his lair,
    When is that old coot gonna die?

  57. greg Says:
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    Stand back and give the man room
    Along with his accompanyinig gloom
    He likes to fight one-on-four
    The armor chafes and it’s sore
    It’s the comical Dr. “Von” Doom

  58. greg Says:
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    I wasn’t scared of things that had paws
    I could often even deal with the claws
    But a mindless fish at the beach
    Put terror well within reach
    Two hundred miles inland and I most feared JAWS

  59. Jakutz Says:
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    Sometimes I feel like my soul,
    shines as bright as the sol,
    but I like to,
    be bad too,
    there’s dirt on my shoe’s sole.

  60. greg Says:
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    Stevel will be so glad that I’m back
    Even though I admit I’m a hack
    Jakutz has better first lines
    And SomeGuyNamedDoug’s doing fine
    “Can’t compete…” oh, cut me some slack

  61. Jakutz Says:
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    Ok, I apologize for this one. It barely has any ties to anything villainous. Sometimes I have one that I’m not serious about entering because it’s not that great or I’ve already entered too many, but I still want to share them. I just go into “limerick mode” or “portmanteau mode” and I need to get them out.

    Maybe we should find a different page to share them on, rather than the entries page, especially if it’s making people angry or getting in the way of other contestants.

  62. greg Says:
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    Hey! We’re here at the same time!

  63. Alex Says:
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    He stands before a small cave;
    Don’t be fooled by the size of the knave!
    He’ll tear you to bits
    Ere you land any hits:
    He’s the rabbit that guards Joseph’s grave!

    (‘Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Arimathea. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the Holy Grail in the Castle of aaaaaagggh’.)

  64. Jakutz Says:
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    ha ha. lol

  65. shiradee Says:
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    Ladies, beware of the Joker
    He isn’t a Mary Kay Broker
    When your lipstick goes missing
    It’s Purplepants you’ll be dissing
    Meanwhile, he’s kidnapped Al Roker

  66. shiradee Says:
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    There’s this freaky nutjob named Krueger
    Who’s got metal hands like a cougar
    And when teens fall asleep
    From their dreams Fred-o leaps
    With his face all covered in booger.

  67. shiradee Says:
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    If Clark Kent had battled Lex Luther
    He’d have ended up an ex-toother
    So Superman stepped in
    With his winningest grin
    Now Luther is quite a bit…couther

  68. Stevel Knievel Says:
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    but that defeats the point!

  69. greg Says:
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    We just write and joke about it, right bro’?

  70. Stevel Knievel Says:
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    I honestly felt like a klutz
    when I learned how to pronounce “Jakutz”.
    I thought it was “kootz”
    like rhyming with “roots”
    But actually it rhymes with “butts”.

    (pwnd)

  71. greg Says:
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    You don’t think that this one is a little too public servicey?

  72. Stevel Knievel Says:
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    I’m not just an internet slob.
    I hold a respectable job.
    But 8 hours I’m gone
    meanwhile Greg gets back on
    and continues his limerick mob.

  73. Stevel Knievel Says:
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    I hear that the truth has been spillin’
    That Greg and Jakutz are one villain.
    They’re exactly the same,
    One person two names,
    So it’s easier for me to kill ‘em.

  74. Stevel Knievel Says:
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    that is friggin brilliant

  75. Dawson Says:
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    King Miraz kills Caspian’s pater
    Like Claudius kills Hamlet’s dad later
    While Narnia’s tough,
    Denmark’s still more rough
    Cause Hamlet gets off’ed by his mater.

  76. Stevel Knievel Says:
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    Now Greg and Jakutz are just hazing
    the new guy with all this “bar raising”.
    It’s one against two
    But I’m still pwning you:
    My rhyming is twice as amazing.

  77. Jakutz Says:
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    Is there any other way?

  78. Jakutz Says:
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    I guess I really can’t argue,
    that you’re not a limerick guru.
    You don’t have to flaunt
    you’re a rhyming savant.
    This contest is your debut.

  79. CanCan (Mom Most Traveled) Says:
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    There once was a Witch from the West,
    Who thought Ruby Slippers might make her well dressed,

    All of Oz feared her
    “Til water disappeared her,

    Something no one had thought to suggest!

  80. Jakutz Says:
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    Nice one. Actually, I usually pronounce it like “kootz”, but it’s just some of the letters of my full name crashed together so there’s no correct/incorrect way (If you pronounced it “assface” I would probably argue with you). In my head I usually say it like “Jay Kootz”, or the occasional j like a y with the “cuts” option: “Yeah-Cuts”

    If you want to write a second version of that last limerick for the other pronunciation, I’d love to hear it, but I ask that you replace “butts” in the last line with “poop chutes”. Same meaning, but it rhymes kootz instead of cuts.

  81. Jakutz Says:
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    You’re watching us like a sentry
    disguised like a bent tree.
    That last one was good,
    and I think you should
    submit it as an entry.

    Seriously though, I think that one was awesome and you should really submit it! I think it could definitely win (especially after all of our battling).

  82. Jakutz Says:
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    lol. Nice touch at the end there.

  83. Jakutz Says:
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    My head is starting to ache.
    I can barely come up with a dake.
    Oops that’s not a word,
    at least not one I’ve heard.
    Oh well, I made a mistake.

  84. greg Says:
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    You’re right, Stevel, I’m on here too much
    But I wasn’t kidding about the PD and such
    Using my brain
    Instead of letting it wane

    Oh, to Hell with rhyming everything. Let me explain what MM has been to me, especially lately. It’s good to have a place where I can be challenged to think creatively again, even if it’s not in a way that is very important to anyone else. I’m kind of hoping that my activity on the site will jump start me into getting interested in building a new life and career. For the record, I was a teacher for 14 years before I was diagnosed. English. Taught poetry. Guess you were right about the cheating. Thank you for being a fun part of this community. You all inspire me and amaze me and make me laugh. And that’s a good step to recovery.

    I do have to admit that I’m already sick of the topic, but then I’ve submitted a week’s worth in a day, so I’m not blaming anyone but myself. And the most annoying thing: I have begun to think in limericks. That scares me because I know that there is a high geek-quotient associated with that. Oh, well, back to sleep.

    G’night!

  85. Stevel Knievel Says:
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    well, if you’ll notice Greg’s rhyme in the limerick that this is a reply to, he rhymed your name with “nuts”… and i thought that since you two were so close, he must know how to pronounce it.

    now i’m not so sure. one or both of you may be lying about one or both of your identities…. lol

  86. Stevel Knievel Says:
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    dude… greg… you’re seriously freaking awesome.

    jakutz also (and wait, are you two people or just one? i’m so incredibly confused).

    In any case, I hope i haven’t offended either of you. i’m just having fun. :)

  87. wotwot Says:
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    Stevel already did the Wicked Witch in post no. 7

  88. greg Says:
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    We’re two people, and I mispronounced his name.
    Offend? Me? No way! I hope that my sudden seriousness didn’t kill all the fun. “Seriously freaking awesome” right back atcha!

    BTW- Sorry, Jay, for really messing up your name.

    I’m really turning off the machine now…it alerts me when there’s a new post, and I am asleep. Well, metaphorically.

  89. greg Says:
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    That’s okay…the limerick is different.

  90. IngShoe Says:
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    That’s OK because it’s different. There are also two about Bush.

  91. Gabriel Says:
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    There’s no dibs system on villains. Limericks give the author enough latitude for us to not have to worry about multiple people choosing the same bad guy.

  92. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
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    +1 for idears

  93. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
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    hilarious

  94. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
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    This one’s great, but I noticed you’re a professional copywriter. Ringer!

  95. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
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    The cylons are half machine and half man
    The show’s intro tells us of their plan
    Nefarious it must be
    Count me as an enlistee
    Of the cylon-hating-equivalent Ku Klux Klan

  96. Jakutz Says:
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    Ha ha. I noticed his “nuts” rhyme but I didn’t say anything because the pronunciation of Jakutz is so ambiguous. I just didn’t want you to think you were wrong about the way you pronounced it.

  97. Jakutz Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Yeah, it’s been pretty great with the battle and everything. I haven’t been offended, and don’t worry about the name thing, it’s not even a real word. It’s very hard to believe that this is only day 2 of this contest. You’re right greg: Thinking in limericks is starting to drive me crazy and it’s making sleep difficult (not to mention dreaming in limericks).

    Oh, I’ve got one for Stevel though:

    At first you thought we were monstrous,
    and fought like a warrior, so zealous,
    but it’s very clear,
    if you look in the mirror,
    that you’ve become one of us.

    Welcome to the dark side. Hey, do you guys have facebook?

  98. Stevel Knievel Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    SomeGuyNamedDoug thinks that he’s bigger
    when he adds racial tones. But I figger
    that this Klan-loving bloke
    might get killed for his joke
    by a jew-hating son of a n (oh my god i went way too far)

  99. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
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    I think you’re being proffensive again…

  100. Jakutz Says:
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    careful there

  101. gig Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +7

    Old Adolph collected the Jews
    Took the gold from their teeth; art and shoes,
    On his last day to think,
    He poured Eva a drink,
    Took his pill and lay down for a snooze.

  102. dlawhon Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +1

    In week one, it seemed I was the villain.
    Because, to depants Al Gore, I was willin’.
    But, no one gave a glance
    When, with a sinister depants,
    Hmoderasi1 arranged Jackie O’s killin’.

  103. Stevel Knievel Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    to Greg and Jakutz:

    Well it seems we’ve been proven elite.
    And we all became friends, which is neat.
    For whatever it counts
    I would like to pronounce
    That this limerick war is complete.

    See you guys in the finals! Oh, and yes Jakutz, I do have a facebook. Contact me at phen77@gmail.com.

  104. Shiradee Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Hmmm…not allowed to be a professional copywriter? Does it help if I’m unemployed?

  105. Shiradee Says:
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    Danke! :)

  106. Sherry Baker Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +4

    The Witch from the West lights my fuse
    And that East witch could drive one to booze
    But More evil than *they*
    Is Glinda, I say.
    That scheming bitch still has my SHOES!

    (as told by the Wicked Witch of the South)

  107. Stevel Knievel Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    oh dear. i thought the south had a good witch!

  108. R.E.D. Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +1

    When Bush and Chaney are awake
    There’s no hope for the United States.
    Every time they say boo,
    Someone dumps a bucket of poo
    In the face of every hard-working Jane and Jake.

  109. R.E.D. Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +1

    I think that karma must hate me
    It might not be true but that’s what I see.
    I try with all my might
    To write a Mental Magma entry that will win the fight…
    But since I always fail, I say what the hell, can you just give me a t-shirt for free?

  110. dlawhon Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    No, but I did hear something about popsicles.

  111. R.E.D. Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Yeah, but a t-shirt won’t melt…

  112. R.E.D. Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +1

    A popsicle or a t-shirt?
    I hope you don’t think I’m a jerk,
    But a t-shirt I’d choose
    As long as I didn’t loose,
    Even a popsicle-stained t-shirt will work!

  113. Brendan Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Every time I’ve heard his name it sounds like “Shy La-Boof”.

    Also, the third line is “but raise THE roof”.

  114. Brendan Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +4

    The villainous elves were in number eleven
    The poisonous kittens were in contest seven
    But the greatest of all time
    Would be the organized crime
    By the army of flying babies from heaven

  115. Jakutz Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    That is great!

  116. Jakutz Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Very nice limerick to finish it off, Stevel.

  117. Garrin Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +2

    Shake a fist at our Great Creator;
    who’s far worse that Stalin or Vader.
    He made a solution
    to life’s institution,
    but left out the calculator.

  118. Zabo Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +4

    Both candidates still are campaigning,
    though repetitive ads are quite draining,
    we’ve got an old fart,
    an inexperienced tart,
    it’s the two-party system I’m blaming

  119. Zabo Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Our country seems quite a disgrace,
    with finances that we need to brace.
    It’s due to Bernanke
    that lenders are cranky;
    he should have stopped them in the first place.

  120. Drewbert Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +1

    Our country is in constant grief
    Will we ever gain relief?
    We endure the turmoil
    Whilst pursuing foreign oil
    OUR villain is commander-in-chief

  121. Alex Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    He’ll take you a mile for a nickel,
    But on politics he can be fickle.
    If he asks for a date
    You’d best head back upstate,
    Lest you incur the wrath of T. Bickle.

  122. Sherry Baker Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Oh I *am* good…

    (at it…) ;)

  123. JayBear Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +1

    There once was a deep ocean creature
    who loved the taste of all the beachers
    So it swam toward the shores
    ate all the wh*res
    and now it feels much peacher.

    I didn’t want to curse, but it rhymed..sorries

  124. JayBear Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    I like this one! bravo :-)

  125. Jakutz Says:
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    That’s ok. I think cursing spices it up quite nicely.

  126. greg Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +3

    As we near this week’s contest’s demise
    I sure hope that nobody cries
    If we don’t have to rhyme
    Again for some time
    ‘Cause it’s hurting my brain and my eyes

  127. Bunny Slippers Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Very clever!

  128. Shiradee Says:
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    Ooh, I like this one.

  129. Jakutz Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Yeah, that’s really good.

  130. Jim Pettit Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +1

    Come this winter, we’re facing an evil:
    Petroleum’s in an upheaval.
    Gasoline prices soar,
    Helping Exxon take more
    Than the Grinch on this next Christmas Eve’ll.

  131. Jim Pettit Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +4

    Who’s the evilest, nastiest villain?
    My dentist–but not ’cause he’s drillin’
    Or fillin’ or filin’;
    It’s just that he’s smilin’
    The most when he’s doin’ the billin’.

  132. Jim Pettit Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +4

    Who’s the fiendish and sinister pest?
    Who’s the easiest one to detest?
    Who’s the nasty old bitch
    With the bothersome twitch?
    Why, the Wicked-ass Witch of the West.

  133. Jakutz Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Nice alliteration at the end. Also, the added “ass” did wonders for me.

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