Sep 22 2008

Contest #13: Alternative Hazards

Category: Uncategorized @ 12:45 am

Pic by flickr user Arenamontanus

Our apologies to triskaidekaphobes everywhere, but we decided to plunge ahead with contest #13 despite the potential bad luck. This contest is about alternative warnings, hazards, and dangers. Sometimes there are threats in our environment that have nothing to do with falling rocks or electric fences. This week we plan on exposing those threats.

This week’s contest is to come up with a novel danger, hazard, or warning sign. You could go with science-related (Warning: The Sun is going to explode…in 4 to 5 billion years), go with absurd humor (Danger: Open pickle jar), go with something self-referential (Notice: I no longer have an appendix), or whatever you think of (you guys are better at this than me). This is going to be a merch contest, so we’ll be putting some of the entries in our online store.

The rules for this one are pretty relaxed. You are encouraged but not required to use a word like hazard/danger/warning in your sign. You are encouraged to describe what the sign should look like (it doesn’t have to look like the one we have shown on this post).

We’re not changing any rules yet this week, so standard contest timeline and contest rules apply. By leaving an entry you are agreeing to those rules. The entry voted the favorite by MM users will earn its author a $25 Amazon.com Gift Certificate and a $15 Mental Magma Online Store gift certificate.

Contest Summary
Assignment
: Devise a warning sign about an unconventional threat.
How to enter: Write your entry in the Contest Entries section.
Deadline: Friday, September 26th at 5pm EST
Prize: a $25 Amazon.com Gift Certificate AND a $15 Mental Magma Online Store gift certificate.

Pic by flickr user Arenamontanus

Announcement: This contest is closed. Feel free to continue to leave your answers here, but you'll be doing so strictly for our edification. Why don't you check out the latest update or contest?


1,795 Responses to “Contest #13: Alternative Hazards”

  1. Jakutz Says:
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    Warning: My smile has been known to stop hearts.

    This would be good as a t-shirt or possibly a facial tattoo.

  2. dlawhon Says:
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    Warning: Human Evolution is happening right now, and there is nothing you can do about it.

  3. Jakutz Says:
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    Wrnanig: If yuo cna raed tihs oyu mghit hvae dislexya.

  4. Stevel Knievel Says:
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    Revolutionary New Survey Strongly Suggests that Dying may be Hazardous to your Health

  5. Agent Mammal Says:
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    Warning: I drop trow.

    It’s a sophisticated way to let the world know you aren’t sophisticated.

  6. fooly cooly Says:
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    Warning

    Old People Crossing

    it would be your standard yellow diamond sign, but with an old fogey with a walker as a black silhouette

  7. Zabo Says:
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    I feel like real life has some of these already.

    For example, the clearly labeled jar of peanuts, look on the back:

    Ingredients: Peanuts, Salt
    WARNING: CONTAINS PEANUTS!

    This has always made me want to see if there was any more ridiculous way you could possibly pull this one, like maybe:

    Warning: Room contains Oxygen, anaerobic organisms and the suicidal, please keep out.

  8. Stevel Knievel Says:
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    on a t-shirt:

    WARNING: I’M NAKED UNDER THIS

  9. fooly cooly Says:
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    this is a new line of product for you guys

    underwear that says

    ALLERGIES:

    May Contain Nuts

  10. Zabo Says:
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    Warning: Presidential race in progress, be sure to plan your television schedule carefully. Serious brain damage may occur.

  11. Zabo Says:
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    Notice: Murphy’s Law in effect; all violators will have their dreams confiscated for crushing.

  12. Jakutz Says:
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    Niiiiice!

  13. Zabo Says:
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    I need this one:

    “Beware-May become aggressive in the presence of bacon.”

    Maybe throw a nice cartoony bacon strip in a circle with a line through it.

  14. Jakutz Says:
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    Danger: Will Robinson

    Underneath it would have a picture of Will, from Lost in Space, decked out like a bamf. This would be like a “beware of dog” sign. You could put it on a fence or on your bedroom door or something. Maybe it would even have the robot next to him.

  15. Zabo Says:
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    Forecasts call for a 60% chance of Crustacean showers.

    [picture of shrimp falling from the sky]

    You may want to pack your cocktail sauce today.

  16. fooly cooly Says:
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    Warning!

    Robots: Do not read the next sentence

    This sentence is false.

  17. Zabo Says:
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    Warning: This beverage may cause structural instability.

    Below would be a picture of the Kool-Aid guy busting through a wall.

  18. Jakutz Says:
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    Caution: Ugly person reading sign.

  19. Jakutz Says:
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    Danger: This sign emits poisonous gas.

  20. Stevel Kneivel Says:
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    on a t-shirt:

    WARNING: NUDE IN DISGUISE

  21. Stevel Kneivel Says:
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    or NUDIST IN DISGUISE

    …y’know, whichever is funnier. they both mean the exact same thing.

  22. steve Says:
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    Warning- WOLVES IN SHEEP’S CLOTHING AHEAD!

    The sign could show a fluffy sheep with a wolf’s grin on it. The sheep could have a visible zipper, showing that something is disguised inside it.

  23. dan Says:
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    been done….

  24. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
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    You could show a symbol with a robot with its head exploding (or exploded)

  25. smodaresi Says:
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    CAUTION: My butt has a mind of its own.

    (This is for a baby onsie).

  26. Keith Says:
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    Caution, A straight Ladder should be placed at an angle of approximately 76 degrees This can be accomplished by moving the base of the ladder away from the structure a distance equal to one fourth the height of the ladder.

  27. Ms. Sanchez Says:
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    warning, I fall up the stairs!

    i can see the sign now! LOL

  28. nmrboy Says:
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    warning: kangaroos hate you.

    this would be a variant of the yellow australian sign for ‘warning kangaroos crossing’, but it could be put up anywhere around the world without losing relevance. cheers,

    n.

  29. JayBear Says:
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    Warning: Dumb people are breeding

  30. JayBear Says:
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    I have a few

    Warning: Thesaurus is not a dinosaur

  31. JayBear Says:
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    Caution: Costumes worn on days beside Halloween can be found creepy and unusual.

  32. JayBear Says:
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    Danger: Any game ending with -Opoly may cause permanent damage.

  33. JayBear Says:
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    Danger: cooking while driving may cause burnt bacon

    (I felt silly)

  34. JayBear Says:
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    danger: winning a mental magma contest may increase sperm count

    (Like I said, I feel silly)

  35. Barnaby Hayes Says:
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    Even the girls? Remember, it’s 6-6 thus far.

  36. Barnaby Hayes Says:
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    It is silly, though. LOL.

  37. vlad Says:
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    WARNING hardhat area, Vlad at large.
    Garrett, I made an incredibly rude statement in one of our previous exchanges.
    I knew it the moment I saw it in print but,alas, there is no edit function on
    Mentalmagma so I was stuck with it. I am very, very sorry. Mentalmagma needs
    your input far more than it needs mine [you actually understand all the contests].
    I will remain in self-imposed exile.

  38. R.E.D. Says:
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    NOTICE: I’m picturing you naked.

    The shirt could have a picture of just clothes with nobody in them inside a circle with a line through it.

  39. Lalaith Says:
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    Attention: Anti-Alliteration Area Ahead!

    (a friend and I used to pun on “do not litter” signs, this is taking it one step further ;))

  40. R.E.D. Says:
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    NOTICE: You will be in my dreams tonight.

    WARNING: My dreams may contain nudity.

  41. R.E.D. Says:
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    Two for one. I don’t think it even needs an illustration. It could just have “NOTICE:” In big letters, with “you will be in my dreams tonight” in smaller letters under it. Then the same for WARNING. But the , “my dreams may contain nudity” in REALLY fine print. Or variations thereof.

  42. R.E.D. Says:
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    NOTICE: Today is not the first day of the rest of your life.

    WARNING: Tomorrow doesn’t look good either.

  43. R.E.D. Says:
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    WARNING: You are 99.9% of the way to being totally ignored.

  44. R.E.D. Says:
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    Picture a giant tombstone on the front of the shirt with this written on it.

  45. R.E.D. Says:
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    WARNING:
    One of us is going to say something STUPID!
    O.K., It’s you.

  46. R.E.D. Says:
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    WARNING:
    One of us is going to sleep with your UGLY sister…
    O.K., It’s you.

  47. R.E.D. Says:
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    NOTICE: Statistics have proven that 100% of the people reading this shirt need to get a life!

  48. Stevel Kneivel Says:
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    sign on the edge of a big cliff:

    No Parking Beyond This Point

  49. R.E.D. Says:
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    I want one!! I’d vote for this one TWICE…if I were a Republican.

  50. R.E.D. Says:
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    !regnad etaidemmi ni era uoy :GNINRAW

  51. greg Says:
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    REBEL BASE AHEAD:
    Be Alert for Frequent Fleet Evacuation

  52. greg Says:
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    VIA DOLOROSA
    Watch for Cross Traffic

  53. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
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    Warning: Rapture imminent (This time we mean it for real, not like those other times we warned you)

  54. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
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    Danger: Quantum probability waves collapsing

    The picture could show a cat face with x’s for eyes.

    Alternatively, you could add “Your cat is now dead”

  55. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
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    Invisible Hand of the Market.

    The picture is a giant fist crushing dollar signs.

  56. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
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    Warning: If this confrontation were taking place in cyberspace instead of meatspace, I would be pwning you instead of fleeing like frightened squirrel.

  57. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
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    Warning: I cross the streams.

  58. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
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    Is this one too obscure to get? You could add a picture of ghostbuster proton packs or something.

  59. greg Says:
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    ONE WAY or ANOTHER

    Remember when you asked about uploading pix for contest entries? This would have a good week to allow that. I feel like for a lot of these “you kinda have to be there,” and describing the sign sometimes just doesn’t cut it.

  60. Alex Says:
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    Picture is of black skull on yellow background like that on many hazard/radiation warning signs. Formatted something like:

    [SKULL PICTURE]
    ALAS
    I knew him well.

  61. Alex Says:
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    VEHICLE USER’S WARNING:

    -DO NOT STEAL THIS GOLF CART BY REMOVING THIS PLASTIC PLATE AND HOT-WIRING IT BY STRIKING THE GREEN WIRE AGAINST THE YELLOW WIRE.
    -DO NOT PROCEED TO DRIVE TO THE CLUBHOUSE AND USE THE KEY IN THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT OF THIS CART TO ACCESS VAST QUANTITIES OF LIQUOR WHEN THE GOLF COURSE IS CLOSED AT NIGHT.
    -DO NOT THEN BUILD RAMPS AND ATTEMPT TO VAULT OVER THE STREAM ON THE 11TH HOLE USING THIS GOLF CART. YOU WON’T MAKE IT. SERIOUSLY, DUDE, DON’T.

  62. Alex Says:
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    This would be the trashiest shirt ever…yet I can think of so many people who’d wear it and so many retailers who’d sell it…and then I can think of a Third World child wearing it when they receive it from a clothing drive after it is donated at a church by a mother who disapproves of it…kind of disturbing, actually.

  63. Tamara Bennington Says:
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    WARNING: Too much time exposure to children might drive you to the nut house.

  64. Barnaby Hayes Says:
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    I didn’t get it, but I haven’t seen that movie in a million years either, so I’m probably not the best judge.

  65. smodaresi Says:
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    This is kind of a good pick-up line! :)

  66. smodaresi Says:
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    Sad…but funny.

  67. Jakutz Says:
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    I know what you mean. Sometimes I want people to know exactly what I’m thinking, but the more I explain, the more it loses it’s glossy finish.

  68. dlawhon Says:
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    Warning: in case of rapture, I’m stealing your car.

  69. dlawhon Says:
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    On the door of my son’s bathroom:
    Warning: Potty Train Zone, items damaged by moisture not our responsibility.

  70. Bunny Slippers Says:
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    Well… maybe it could induce sperm formation in females… huh?… huh ?… did ya ever think of that?? Do we really know what the long term side effects of winning a MM contest are?

  71. dannydre236 Says:
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    Warning: My touch brings back the dead.

  72. Soleil Says:
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    Notice:
    Weirdos reading t-shirts have been reported in this vicinity.

    And for the ladies?

    Notice:
    Weirdos staring at my chest have been reported in this vicinity.

  73. Alex Says:
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    Schrödinger’s Warning: Cat in box is both alive and dead until box is opened.

  74. greg Says:
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    ATTENTION!
    This garment is made of the finest materials using traditional techniques and will serve you well for years.
    Neither the fabric nor the hands that made it were able to embue it with magical powers.
    As such, DO NOT ASK THE PERSON WAITING OUTSIDE THIS DRESSING ROOM IF IT MAKES YOUR “BUTT LOOK BIG,” especially if it happens to be, AS THIS CAN ONLY LEAD TO BAD FEELINGS OR SOMEBODY LYING.
    Dry-Clean Only

  75. Zabo Says:
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    Notice: This shirt has been changed from it’s original format, it has been formatted to fit this body.

  76. Zabo Says:
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    I kinda pictured an image of Doc Brown from Back to the Future looking stunned, with a saying like: Just because you don’t need roads, doesn’t mean there’s no speed limit.

    But since that doesn’t fit the contest, I’m going with the standard speed limit sign design:

    Speed Limit : 1 second/second

  77. Zabo Says:
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    Warning: I’m too sexy for this shirt.

  78. Zabo Says:
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    A clockwork type design would be present, with the words:

    Beware of Cog

  79. Zabo Says:
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    alternatively, there could be a Warhol-esque repetition of office workers at desks

  80. Zabo Says:
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    and yet, describing it usually means that I spend less time here, and so actually get *some* sleep :P

  81. Zabo Says:
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    I feel obligated to share this non-original entry.

    There was an ancient sign outside a church where I used to live that looked just like your standard city No Parking signs, but read instead:

    Thou shalt not park here.

    We called it the eleventh commandment, and it’s physical existence makes me happy to this day.

  82. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
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    I think this could be your week R.E.D., your entries are spot on.

  83. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
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    I think this one is better than mine. Is this original, dlawhon? It almost sounds too good to not already be a sign or something. Kudos, I’d vote for it if I could.

  84. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
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    I love both of these.

  85. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
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    How about:

    This shirt intentionally left blank.

  86. Ms. Sanchez Says:
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    Warning: Mens bathroom straight ahead!

  87. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
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    Warning: I may become an Internet sensation

  88. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
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    Warning: I spread memes

  89. Jakutz Says:
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    Beware of Kitten Widows.

  90. Curiosity64 Says:
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    I think it’s too late. I already have dain bramage.

  91. Curiosity64 Says:
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    Caution: No Diving into Shallow end of Gene Pool.

    Could be placed next to condom dispenser in bathroom. Or anywhere stupid people gather to fornicate.

  92. greg Says:
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    My gosh…this one could stop traffic. Wha—? Oh! No, he doesn’t! WHAAt?

  93. greg Says:
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    “Help! I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up!”

    (The alert is the same as has been used for Medi-Alert pagers for years, but now it appears on Viagra packaging.)

  94. Ella Minnow Pea Says:
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    A picture of a clenched fist.

    CAUTION: For external use only.

  95. Bubba Manly Says:
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    Notiz: Jost bekawse i have a hughe peinse it dusn’t nezahairly mak me stewpid!

  96. Bubba Manly Says:
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    NOTUZ: In lit of pub-like deskclosing, “Bubba Manly” is a gnome-de-plum of a regular poster on this site.

  97. R.E.D. Says:
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    How about tonight, say eightish?

  98. R.E.D. Says:
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    Thanks S.G.N.D.! I hope so…

  99. R.E.D. Says:
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    LOL

  100. R.E.D. Says:
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    Print one up for me, I’d buy it!

  101. R.E.D. Says:
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    Saboteur! Now people will feel guilty if they vote for it. “Looks like I’ll never win one of these contests.” *R.E.D. sobs*

  102. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
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    Notice: Although this t-shirt looks worn and faded, I purchased this t-shirt in Q3 2008.

    (Design would have the retro look so many shirts have today)

  103. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
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    I can guess who.

  104. greg Says:
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    EOP
    Equal Opportunity Paranoid
    Past-Present-Future
    All-Feared
    All-Suspected
    “If you’re not out to get me, it’s only because you know that I think you are, and you’re trying to make me look stupid.”

    The quotation would encirlce the other pieces of information in a badge or shield configuration.

  105. greg Says:
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    BEWARE

    I have trust issues.

    Therefore you do to.

    Or you should.

    You will.

  106. Bubba Manly Says:
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    It’s all in fun, SomeGuyNamedDoug, everybody, I hope my entries aren’t taken too seriously and that nobody is offended.

  107. dlawhon Says:
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    I guess I’ll throw it on the bottom.

  108. dlawhon Says:
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    Warning: in case of rapture, I’m stealing your car

  109. Jakutz Says:
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    Caution: Molten hot ideas

    This would be good on a shirt. Under the words it could have the stick figure guy who is on the men’s restroom signs, but his head would be on fire. On the back it would have the brain logo above “mentalmagma.com”

  110. Ian Randal Strock Says:
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    Caution: Objects in reality may not exist.

  111. Ian Randal Strock Says:
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    Notice: all people claiming human rights will be required to pass a Turing test.

  112. Ian Randal Strock Says:
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    Warning: I have a brain and I’m not afraid to use it.

  113. Ian Randal Strock Says:
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    Danger: Heads of state in possession of nuclear weapons. Please elect with caution.

  114. Ian Randal Strock Says:
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    Notice: Quantum theory predicts a very small, but non-zero, chance that your
    pants may disappear at any moment. Make sure you wear clean underwear.

  115. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
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    Hey, I don’t think something qualifies as a “website” unless something on it offends someone. But your comments aren’t offensive, that’s Stevel’s job.

  116. Ms. Sanchez Says:
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    kitten widows or poisonous kittens? hum…

  117. Jakutz Says:
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    Notice: Your girlfriend/wife got her hair cut today.

    It would be great if girls would start putting these on their friends when they notice that she’s gotten her hair cut. This would help guys everywhere, because then they would know. It would be a disaster, though, if they fell into the wrong hands. If you said, “Aw, you got your hair cut! I like it,” when no haircut took place, the jig would be up!

  118. Soleil Says:
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    Notice: They’re watching you.

  119. Soleil Says:
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    Warning: Molten hot ideas.

  120. Soleil Says:
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    And I’ll bet you know which logo goes above and which website goes underneath. Advertising and humor, all in one package.

  121. Soleil Says:
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    Doug wants one.

    <__>

  122. Soleil Says:
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    For his girlfriend.

    >_>

    (Woah, the tag symbols cut out most of the above post …)

  123. fooly cooly Says:
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    i was thinking something like that(actually exactly that lol: a robot with its head exploding).

  124. fooly cooly Says:
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    everyone write their senator

  125. Zabo Says:
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    On a white shirt:

    Danger: Reflecting high levels of photonic radiation!

  126. Jakutz Says:
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    lol

  127. Jakutz Says:
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    Nice. I bet you’d like entry 75 :)

  128. Zabo Says:
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    I’d like to see a traditional yield sign with a thrusting swordsman drawn in under the wording.

  129. Jakutz Says:
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    I like the idea a lot but I don’t think many people will get it. They might not know that the color of the shirt is important, or they might think it’s referring to the wearer of the shirt. Maybe it could be changed a little to make it a little more obvious: “Danger: White shirts reflect high…” Then again, maybe the subtle approach is what you’re going for. Either way – nice!

  130. Zabo Says:
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    Yeah, it was meant to be changed if necessary, but I personally prefer the more subtle, it makes it more rewarding for those who do get it.

  131. Zabo Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Limited in options, but humorous:

    http://www.warningsigngenerator.com/

    Maybe it can help you envision your alternative hazard?

  132. Soleil Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Dammit, I knew somebody else had posted it. Never can find the right comments when I need too. :/

    Howzabout I +1 yours instead?

  133. fooly cooly Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    perfect as is.

  134. Soleil Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +1

    Notice: My IQ is 250.

    Cookies for anyone who gets it.

  135. Gabriel Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    I’d like to think that at MM we can go for the smart/subtle joke.

  136. Zabo Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +4

    Caution: I value my personal space above your health.

  137. Nietsche Pascal Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +2

    Don’t Mess With Me, I have Jesus in my heart.

  138. Nietsche Pascal Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Older? Maybe. Still the breakfast of chammpions

  139. Nietsche Pascal Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +2

    What are you looking at? Of course I am naked under my clothes!

  140. Nietsche Pascal Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +1

    Fear he who doesn’t mean what he says. Fear even more he who doesn’t say what he means.

  141. Nietsche Pascal Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Expecting fathers feel delivery pains, too!

  142. Jakutz Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    It would make it more rewarding. Good point.

  143. Jakutz Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Hey, great idea.

    My roommate used the purple caution one on there once. He always yells, “Stand down, Captain!” if one of us gets in his face or demands something from him. I can’t remember what movie it’s from, but he said it so often that he eventually just put the sign on his door.

  144. Jakutz Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    lol, +1 right back at you.

  145. Jakutz Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Warning: Limericks may cause insanity.

    This is for everyone who thought in limericks for all of last week.

  146. Alex Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +2

    Posted at a frat house or some other place perilously “rushed”:

    CAUTION: ANGELS FEAR TO TREAD HERE.

  147. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Good lord!

  148. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    This is one of the best posted, funny but actually a terribly important message.

  149. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    God, I wish…

  150. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Has someone been signs Googling for inspiration? :)

  151. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    What kind of cookies?

  152. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    I can’t tell if the intention here is genuine or irony.

  153. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Like at rest stops?

  154. Clayton Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    The Rock

  155. Ella Minnow Pea Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    haha, sorry. too much?

  156. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    No, it’s great, it’s just so subtle as to be shocking when you realize what’s going on.

  157. fooly cooly Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +2

    Warning:

    This Shirt Will Self-Destruct in 3 Seconds

  158. fooly cooly Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +8

    Warning:

    Objects in telescope may be older than they appear

  159. fooly cooly Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +4

    Warning:

    If you punch me, I will apply an equal force to your fist!

  160. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Ha! We’re getting very physics heavy on this site.

  161. fooly cooly Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +1

    Warning:

    Side Effects of Looking in My Eyes Include Fainting and Falling in Love

  162. fooly cooly Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    nit-picky edit: should say “May Include”, to better match a real warning

  163. fooly cooly Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    like in a commercial for a drug, if that wasn’t clear.

  164. fooly cooly Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +3

    Caution:

    You are entering a logic zone. Do not attempt to convince me of any of your belief systems.

  165. Jakutz Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    That’s it! Thanks, Clayton.

  166. Jakutz Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    That’s awesome. You went a really cool direction with this one.

  167. fooly cooly Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    thanks dude

  168. R.E.D. Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +2

    WARNING! I’m on the road to self-destruction. Do you really want to be standing there reading this shirt?

  169. R.E.D. Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +2

    WARNING: Deja Vu ahead. WARNING: Deja Vu ahead. WARNING: Deja Vu ahead. WARNING: Deja Vu ahead…

  170. Nietsche Pascal Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +2

    Religious Freaks Beware!
    I am an Animalitarian, Darwin is my God

  171. Nietsche Pascal Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +1

    “Ready or not, I am going to whip your butt”

    An implied warning, to be used as the caption for depicttion of a naked butt being frosted with whip cream. Entirely stupid, mildly crude, and probably appealing to most rednecks and fraternity brothers.

  172. Zabo Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +2

    Please be aware, a severe idiocy warning has been issued for the following areas until further notice: The Internet, Television, Newspapers, Cinema. Thank you, and now to your previously scheduled T-shirt.

  173. Zabo Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    I envision this in white on black, with the colored bars test pattern on the reverse.

  174. R.E.D. Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Albert, is that you?

  175. R.E.D. Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +1

    NOTICE: GONE POSTAL…be back in 10-20 years.

  176. R.E.D. Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    It could have a picture of a clock that looks like prison bars with the numbers being years instead of hours.

  177. R.E.D. Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +4

    IMPORTANT: It is not necessary to read this shirt.(sign?) You would just be wasting your time. If you keep reading this shirt it will be an exercise in futility. There is no redeeming value in continuing to read these words. You will not be informed or enlightened in any way. If I were still reading this shirt I would be feeling rather foolish just about now. (etc…until the alloted space is filled up)

  178. Bunny Slippers Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +1

    Warning:
    I had beans and broccoli for lunch.
    :-)

  179. IngShoe Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +1

    Warning to all meatheads-
    vegetarians love longer!
    Cholesterol doesn’t just block
    the vessels in your heart…
    (if ya know what I mean!)

  180. fooly cooly Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    keepthe shirt if you want, but i think you’d be hard-pressed to find statistics of thta from a reputable source. that, like most info on both sides of the debate on how healthy vegetarianism is compared to omnivorism, are basically just urban legends

  181. IngShoe Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Oooooo… kind of a serious comment for a silly entry. It wasn’t supposed to be a scientific pronouncement; it was supposed to be funny… “meathead”… “love” longer instead of “live” longer. I wouldn’t wear this on a shirt either, but some people might. Thanks for the slam.

  182. smodaresi Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Sorry! I’ve just seen little kids in those weird hand-me-down-from-other-country shirts and it is funny and sad at the same time. The weirdest one I remember was in Central America where everyone just wore shirts that said, “I AM PANAMA.” Whatever that means!

  183. Lalaith Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +3

    WARNING:
    Mwahahahahahaaaaa!

  184. dlawhon Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    not trying to take sides or pick a fight; but… the reference to “loving longer” actually makes that statement more likely to be correct than saying “living longer”. And, there is definitely a medical connection between let’s say erector set disfunction and saturated fat. And, saturated fat only comes from eating animals and their “stuff”. I understand where your coming from fooly, but the entry didn’t say “live longer”.

  185. Zabo Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Well, the difference between a healthy and balanced vegetarian diet and a healthy and balanced omnivorous one is approximately zilch. The issues stem from excesses, which usually result from an excess of processed foods, not natural animal products. While animal products contain saturated fats, the easiest way to get them is from artificially hydrogenated oils, present in a huge portion of processed foods today.

    By the way, the shirt is funny, and everyone should relax. Everybody gets along much better if you let stuff roll and give people the benefit of the doubt(especially in text-only communication). So lets just kick back, eat what we want, and “love” as long as we can. ;)

  186. Zabo Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +1

    Caution-Allergic to dumb. Symptoms of reaction may include: violence, dominating logical discourse, and drymouth.

  187. IngShoe Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +1

    Caution:
    Smiling is contagious!

  188. Lalaith Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +2

    Caution: You are in the presence of Greatness. While in the presence of Greatness you may experience feelings of inadequacy, awe, and extreme envy. These symptoms will pass once you are out of my way.

  189. Lalaith Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Don’t Panic!

  190. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    This one made me laugh.

  191. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Mostly Harmless.

  192. Lalaith Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    That’s a good one, I’d wear that shirt :)

  193. Lalaith Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +2

    Warning Notice:
    Dangerous hazards may befall those persons who will be punished for uttering spoken (or written) redundant statements that are unnecessarily repetitive in nature.

  194. Gabriel Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Lalaith, I’m sorry but I must give you a Department of Redundancy Department citation. Please enter your PIN number and prepay your fine in advance.

  195. Lalaith Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Oh no… I’m going to have to go to the ATM machine!

  196. R.E.D. Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    WARNING: Ignorance is breeding faster than intelligence!

    You could have a dunce cap boxing an encyclopedia.

  197. Jakutz Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Where is Gabriel on this one?

  198. R.E.D. Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Resistance is futile!

  199. R.E.D. Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +2

    GLOBAL WARMING WARNING: Dude, your hair is on fire…

  200. R.E.D. Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    I LOVE this site! One of my split personalities doesn’t have to go to therapy anymore!

  201. dlawhon Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Warning: I eat foot sporadically.

  202. dlawhon Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +2

    Caution: The occasional Total Perspective Vortex may begin to open where my mouth is.

  203. dlawhon Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    *See 118-119 =)

  204. Gabriel Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    My brain isn’t powerful enough to figure this one out. Maybe I should overclock it.

  205. Gabriel Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Total_Perspective_Vortex

  206. Jakutz Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    I think the deciIQ scale is being used. Still higher than mine by 17 basic points though.

  207. Mach3 Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +6

    CAUTION: Matter composed mostly of empty space

  208. Soleil Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    An IQ of 250 is pretty much impossible with the current size of the human population, unless you’re a college professor at 2 years old.

    Random note: I took an online IQ test for a social science project, which rated me at “160+” (that’s somewhere between Lincoln and Descartes). I’m thinking that there’s an inverse relationship between an test taker’s IQ and the probability of said test taker actually believing that their IQ is above 160. >_>

    You could reduce the shirt to say your IQ is 150 and only the geeks would call you out on it.

  209. Bunny Slippers Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +2

    Caution:
    Never date a man who owns a parrot and wears an eye patch and a ruffled shirt.

  210. Bunny Slippers Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +1

    Regnad:
    Htaed tnatsni sesuac sdrawkcab gnidaer.

    (Danger:
    Reading backwards causes instant death.)

  211. Bunny Slippers Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Ooops, sorry, I just went back up and saw Jakutz’s dyslexia entry. This one is similar, with the letters all messed up. Sorry, I wouldn’t have entered it.

  212. Soleil Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Obviously Jakutz needs to start collecting royalties here or something. :D

  213. Jakutz Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    I don’t want to call you out or anything, but I’ve been teaching quantum physics at Princeton since I was 18 months old. Actually, my fifth birthday is coming up and everyone is invited. Steven Hawking and Barney will be attending.

  214. Jakutz Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Ha ha, yeah. I’m charging a nickel for every thumbs up you get. Really, I think yours is a different enough from mine. I wouldn’t have thought twice about it if you hadn’t said anything. Actually, R.E.D. went backwards in entry 41, but I think you guys were going different directions with it anyway.

    Oh, but I’m still collecting royalties… click. That’s the easiest 5 cents I’ve ever made.

  215. Nietsche Pascal Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +2

    Beware Carnivores: Every steak you enjoy tells the story of suffering of an animal and cruelty of man

  216. Nietsche Pascal Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +2

    Warning to Meat Eaters: Don’t be accessary to abuse and murder of soulful beings; Go vegetarian

    This may accompany a real photograph of checkens packed in small cages. Somewhat heavy-handed but it may provoke mindful introspection in some carnivores and delight vegetarians

  217. Nietsche Pascal Says:
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    Beware: Meat eating causes pain

    Goes well with a portrayal of a sheep or a cow before a guillotine

  218. Nietsche Pascal Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +1

    Warning to good people: “Only vegetarians can put “I tried not to cause suffering” on the tombstone

  219. Nietsche Pascal Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +2

    Beware: Do you wish the Almighty’s mercy on the Judgment Day? Have mercy on animals, go vegetarian

    I think this somewhat heavy-handed statement would look pretty attractive when place under a Michael Angeloesque drawing of “god” with long white beard holding an animal protectively

  220. Nietsche Pascal Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    The word “the” really is “their.”

  221. Jakutz Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Wow, you’re making me hungry and horny at the same time.

    j/k, please don’t hold this joke against me forever. Though insensitive at the moment, I’m totally kidding.

  222. Jakutz Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    I’m not a vegetarian or anything, but this is really good. A poster like this could probably really help your cause.

  223. Ella Minnow Pea Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    …until people remember that God condoned the eating of animals in the Bible.

    The argument kind of falls apart when you think about it: when appealing to people who are worried about salvation, you have to assume they’d know where God actually stands on issues like this.

  224. Barnaby Hayes Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    If you are referring to Genesis, there is a lot of controversy over whether “God” ever condoned the eating of animals. He did give humans “dominion,” but why does that automatically translate to eating of them? Maybe it means taking really good care of them and letting them live.
    Plus, a bunch of humans wrote the Bible anyway.

  225. Nietsche Pascal Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Ella Minnow Pea,
    I challenge you to find a passage in the Bible directly condoning meat eating. Remember that at the beginning after his Creation, god ordered Adam to eat only of the fruit and vegetation. Any reference to consumption of animals by Adam and his descendents came after he sinned and was thrown out of the Heaven. Even if god did allow him to kill and eat animals, we may logically infer that it was an act befitting of a sinnful and discgraced creature.

    With all the above said, I do not at all intend to condemn meat eaters for the grave pains and suffering they cause. Perhaps pain and suffering are inherent in the course of survival and it is our consciousness of it that renders it unacceple to some of us.

  226. dlawhon Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    just to clarify, a TPV can only begin to open, they can not fully open in our solar system; something about the presence of humans.

  227. Jackie Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    I was ready to enter your famed contest, but alas, no “match” found to my “enter contest” click.

  228. Jackie Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    “you’re” and “fully” ftw

  229. Jackie Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    protein ftw.

  230. Jackie Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +2

    Warning: Free time leads to Mental Magma.

  231. Jackie Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +5

    Danger: Life ahead. And it’s not fair.

  232. Jackie Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +4

    Warning: Threesomes involving your significant other only look good on paper.

  233. Gabriel Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Strange, I just clicked it and it worked. Anyone else have any trouble when you click that?

  234. Jackie Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    have I entered the contest correctly?

  235. Gabriel Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    I’d say you have. In fact, I really like #131.

  236. Jackie Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +1

    thanks. send me the $.

  237. Jackie Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Uncomfortable looks the “next morning” and general distrust likely to follow.

  238. Nietsche Pascal Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Thank you Barnaby Hayes. You said what my comments tried to convey but much more eloquently.

  239. Bunny Slippers Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Yes, a poster would be awesome… and a shirt… and a cup… and… and you’d better merch this!

  240. Ella Minnow Pea Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Nietsche Pascal,
    Leviticus. It’s my least favorite book of the Bible, but there’s all the clean/unclean meat stuff as well as the rules when it comes to animal sacrifices – which God required throughout the Old Testament and only stopped requiring when Jesus became the last sacrifice and did away with the need for any more religious animal sacrifices. If you want to be literal about the book of Genesis, consider the fact that God killed the first two animals himself in order to make clothes for Adam and Eve. (I’m pretty sure God isn’t a sinful and disgraced creature.) You might also want to check out Acts 10 and Peter’s vision wherein God directly tells him to kill and eat the animals in the basket and is then offended when Peter refuses. Admittedly, this is most often interpreted as a metaphor about racism, but if you’re literal about Genesis then you might be literal about Acts.

    Nothing in the Bible supports the idea that God will only have mercy on you if you’re a vegetarian, which is why I think the design you submitted cancels itself logically – it would seem to appeal to those concerned about God’s mercy, but those are the people who will know already that mercy from God has nothing to do with whether or not you eat meat. On the other hand, the Bible heavily supports having respect for all of God’s creations, so the design makes sense if you take off the last two words.

    As it is, you’re definitely condemning meat eaters, though. No mercy unless you stop? The pit of hell and fiery damnation unless you go veggie? That would be the definition of condemnation. But since you don’t consider yourself sinful and disgraced like the rest of us, then I don’t mind your casting the first stone. :)

  241. Jakutz Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    I think what Nietsche was trying to say is that we want mercy and we’re going to be blessed with it, so we should pay it forward to animals and show them mercy. I don’t think she (for some reason I think Nietsche is a woman/girl, forgive me if I’m wrong) meant we’re going to hell if we don’t. I agree with you that God condones the eating of animals. I just thought her idea, though flawed from my own perspective about God, was pretty clever and would make people sympathetic for her cause (not that I support it).

    Nietshe, I probably would have been kind of mad that you posted so many entries trying to persuade me to give up meat, but I understand that you’re just trying to do what you think is right. Just don’t overdo it.

  242. Jakutz Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    Ha ha, great.

  243. Soleil Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +0

    I do believe I’ve heard of you, now that you mention it. Tell me, have you finished your book, “A Prosaic Journey Through the Quantum Philosophies of the Verdant-Chested Barnisaurus”?

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