Oct 20 2008

Contest #17: Swords don’t kill people, witches & dragons kill people

Category: Uncategorized @ 12:01 am

One thing all historians of the middle ages agree on is that there was a scarcity of bumper stickers. Sure, a knight would occasionally slap one on his horse’s rump. However, if you had a clever quip you wanted everyone to know about, you probably just had to yell it in the town square.

The contest this week is to write a bumper sticker that would have been appropriate for the middle ages. Whether you want to choose a historically accurate view of the period or a more fantasy-novel view is up to you.

This contest may be a merch contest. We’re not really sure. Time-traveling-medieval-peasants aren’t exactly a huge market, but some of your entries may be so clever that we have to print them up for present-day folks. We’re leaving our options open.

Standard contest timeline and contest rules apply this week. By leaving an entry you are agreeing to those rules. The entry voted the favorite by MM users will earn its author a $25 Amazon.com Gift Certificate and a $15 Mental Magma Online Store gift certificate.

photo by flickr user declan anderson

Contest Summary
Assignment
: Describe a bumper sticker that would be appropriate for the middle ages.
How to enter: Write your entry in the Contest Entries section.
Deadline: Friday, October 24th at 5pm EST
Prize: a $25 Amazon.com Gift Certificate AND a $15 Mental Magma Online Store gift certificate.

Announcement: This contest is closed. Feel free to continue to leave your answers here, but you'll be doing so strictly for our edification. Why don't you see what's going on in the forum or check out the latest update or contest?


290 Responses to “Contest #17: Swords don’t kill people, witches & dragons kill people”

  1. Gabriel Says:
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    Although I mentioned in the Contest #16 Winner post that we would announce news for the photo contest, we decided to make that announcement in a separate post on Tuesday.

  2. Agent Mammal Says:
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    Make your horse neigh if you like plundering.

  3. Debra Divine Says:
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    Definition of “bewitching moment”
    To burn at the stake, is a heroic act of kindness.

  4. Jakutz Says:
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    Serfs up, dude!

  5. fyrtygr Says:
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    Swords don’t kill people, Swordsmen do.

  6. fyrtygr Says:
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    My other horse is a dragon.

  7. Stevel Knievel Says:
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    not to jump the gun, but i think this is a winner

  8. fuzz on the concept Says:
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    If you can see France from the cliffs of Dover,
    you have the worldly experience necessary to be my Lady-in-Waiting.
    (– scribe fee paid by Johnny McCain, young aspirant to the throne)

  9. Ms. Sanchez Says:
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    Witches burning at the steak…did somebody say steak?

  10. Mach3 Says:
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    Warning: I brake for mead!

  11. Mach3 Says:
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    Free Jerusalem

  12. Mach3 Says:
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    You Will Be Converted, Resistance is Feudal

  13. Jakutz Says:
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    If you can read this, you’re a clergyman.

  14. Jakutz Says:
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    playing off of “you’re too close”

  15. Jakutz Says:
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    friends don’t let friends ride bareback.

  16. Mach3 Says:
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    My kid jousted your honor student

  17. Mach3 Says:
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    Trebuchet Happens


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    brilliant

  19. Mach3 Says:
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    Roll up your parchment transcriptions and ride!

  20. Mach3 Says:
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    Playing off of “hang up your cell phone and drive”…


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    My Parents went to Canterbury and all I got was this stupid bumper sticker.


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    Don’t blame me, I didn’t vote for him! Oh, wait…


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    BE THOU OF A CAREFUL DEMEANOR
    as this carriage be prone to make
    the most unseemly wide right turns!


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    Support Our Crusading Knights.

    (On a lttle yellow ribbon)


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    Fear Not

  26. Zabo Says:
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    Officer of His Majesty’s Customs and Excise.

    This vehicle makes frequent, heavily armed stops.

  27. Zabo Says:
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    Jesus saves, but Urban II liberates.

  28. Zabo Says:
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    # 17 makes me think:

    My parents went to London, and all I got was the Plague!

  29. Zabo Says:
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    Cry out if you love the Medicis.

  30. Zabo Says:
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    When it rains,…

    you better hope your roof is well thatched.

  31. tiago Says:
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    My other horse is a stallion.

  32. fooly cooly Says:
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    how does this not have more votes? i don’t think people get it. it’s a play on Free Tibet

  33. fooly cooly Says:
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    wonderful. again, i don’t think people are getting your entries

  34. fooly cooly Says:
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    never saw that bumper sticker…

  35. fooly cooly Says:
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    Keep Cornwall WEIRD

  36. dana Says:
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    I am the Dragonslayer.

  37. fooly cooly Says:
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    PAIGE DRIVER

  38. dana Says:
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    He who plays with dragons gets burned.

  39. fooly cooly Says:
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    or STUDENT RIDER, whichever is funnier, but i’m not sure people would make the connection if it were both and said PAIGE RIDER. but maybe. squire rider also works.

  40. fooly cooly Says:
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    squire driver. whatever

  41. dana Says:
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    In case of rapture, this cart will be unmanned.

  42. dana Says:
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    Proud member of the Hanseatic League.

  43. fooly cooly Says:
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    I brake for kidnapped princesses.

  44. fooly cooly Says:
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    If you can read this, you are entirely too close to a horse’s ass.

  45. fooly cooly Says:
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    If you can read this, watch your step.

  46. Shirin Says:
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    Yeah, Trebuchet isn’t exactly the most well-known word, but it’s really clever! :)

  47. Shirin Says:
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    How can someone named Anonymous win any contests?

  48. Shirin Says:
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    Isn’t it spelled page?

  49. Gabriel Says:
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    It’s actually our well known and beloved Greg. There’s something going on with his log in that is making him show up as “Anonymous”. We’re trying to fix it.

  50. Barnaby Hayes Says:
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    They tried to drown me, but I floated.

  51. dana Says:
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    Join the crusades, see the world.

  52. fooly cooly Says:
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    no

  53. dana Says:
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    If you can read this, you already have the plague.

  54. dana Says:
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    I support trial by water.

  55. dana Says:
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    Heretics be damned.

  56. dana Says:
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    Buy your charter, ask me how.

  57. dana Says:
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    Support your local guilds.

  58. dana Says:
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    The moors are coming!

  59. dana Says:
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    I like your “trial by water” reference much more than mine!

  60. dana Says:
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    I’d rather be fishing.

  61. dana Says:
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    Ring around the rosies, pocket full of posies…

    (ok, I promise, I’m done)

  62. R.E.D. Says:
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    My other horse is named Lamborghini

  63. fuzz on the concept Says:
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    Just say Nii!

  64. R.E.D. Says:
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    I’m going through a mid life crisis in the middle ages…
    and they haven’t invented sexy red sports cars yet!

  65. R.E.D. Says:
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    Caution: I brake for damsels in a dress.

  66. R.E.D. Says:
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    My horse gets 100 miles to a bale of hay.

  67. Ms. Sanchez Says:
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    Crusades one billion dollars, Economy boost after crusades, 7 billion dollars, knowing that your country will recover…priceless.

  68. fuzz on the concept Says:
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    Troll bridge approaching –
    please have correct favorite color.

  69. R.E.D. Says:
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    How am I riding?
    Ride 100 miles to the castle and tattle on me to the King!

  70. R.E.D. Says:
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    Good Knight

  71. R.E.D. Says:
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    NEED HELP?
    Just yell Noble!

  72. R.E.D. Says:
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    FEUDLE LORD EXPRESS
    If my knight doesn’t deliver your package,
    I’ll KILL him!

  73. Garrett Says:
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    Oats, Mead, or “Knowledge” – No one rides for free.

  74. Garrett Says:
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    How my riding?
    Send carrier pigeon to the Manor

  75. Garrett Says:
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    Oops. Sorry to rip you off below, R.E.D.

  76. Garrett Says:
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    So many damsels, so little time.

  77. Garrett Says:
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    In case of Rapture, this horse will be riderless.

  78. Garrett Says:
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    Warning: Cargo Most Foul
    Keep Back 50 Ells

  79. Garrett Says:
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    Barter NCC-2

  80. tlawhon Says:
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    Save a horse, ride a knight.

  81. tlawhon Says:
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    This horse protected by mace.

  82. tlawhon Says:
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    This horse protected by holy hand grenade.

  83. tlawhon Says:
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    I’m pro-guillotine.

  84. nmrboy Says:
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    HOW AM I DRIVING?
    cars haven’t been invented.

  85. dlawhon Says:
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    it’s called driving, even in a cart.

  86. jupchu Says:
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    Gutenberg Printing:
    These Colors Don’t Run!
    Neater Than Scribes
    …………………………………..
    (Bumper sticker printed in color obviously)

  87. jupchu Says:
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    Stirrups Save Lives: Saddle Up, It’s the Law

  88. jupchu Says:
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    Gut Dragons?

  89. jbirdpowers Says:
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    Long live King McCain!
    (He was alive then right?)

  90. fooly cooly Says:
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    this may be one of the more obvious ones, but it’s one of my favorites.

  91. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
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    I don’t get this one, but I can tell that it’s good, +2 :)

  92. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
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    This is really really good, +2. I’d buy this if I thought people would get the “Knowledge” reference.

  93. etmoose Says:
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    Brake for dragons. It could save your life.

  94. Garrett Says:
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    “CROWN PRINCE for KING
    in the Year of the Lord’s Choosing”

    (Or if your politics runneth the other way:)

    BASTARD SON OF THE CONCUBINE for KING

  95. Garrett Says:
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    Much obliged. I wish I could think of a way to make it rhyme.

  96. Garrett Says:
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    If Swords are Outlawed
    Only Criminals will have Swords

  97. Garrett Says:
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    Wyde Loade


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    All that glitters is not straw…it’s gold!
    National Association of Alchemists (NAA)

  99. Zabo Says:
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    One of those round vacation spot/European nation stickers:

    in the center:

    KS

    with this along the bottom curve:

    Kurfürstentum Sachsen-Electorate of Saxony


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    Eatteth Thoue Myne Duste!

  101. Garrett Says:
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    Nicely done.

  102. Garrett Says:
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    Better yet, on a little yellow garter.

  103. Garrett Says:
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    That could be now.

  104. diggyk Says:
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    McCain/Palin ’08

  105. Garrett Says:
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    Universitas Oxoniensis MCLXXXI

  106. diggyk Says:
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    My Other Horse is a Dragon

  107. diggyk Says:
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    Jesus Saves

  108. Mach3 Says:
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    or free palestine, which is even more appropriate…some things never change

  109. Garrett Says:
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    Just Say NAY

  110. Mach3 Says:
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    Maybe I would be appreciated more if I posted on Mental Magma Mensa

  111. fuzz on the concept Says:
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    I take it you’re not from Alaska. :)

  112. nmrboy Says:
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    erm, yes, i know. i still thought it was funny. but i shall add an alternative, albeit a gruesome one. :)

  113. nmrboy Says:
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    HOW AM I DRIVING?
    i’ve got leprosy

  114. R.E.D. Says:
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    They like yours better than mine :(
    Good luck!

  115. R.E.D. Says:
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    This one is great!

  116. R.E.D. Says:
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    WARNING: I stop at all “ridden-out-of-town-on-a-rail” road crossings.

  117. R.E.D. Says:
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    IF THERE IS NO KNIGHT ON THIS HORSE
    watch out for the dragon!

  118. R.E.D. Says:
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    BEWARE OF SUDDEN POOP

  119. R.E.D. Says:
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    (feudel lord express- the re-mix)

    If your package isn’t delivered by knight,
    I’ll feed him to a dragon!

  120. R.E.D. Says:
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    (feudel lord express- re-mix 2)

    FEUDEL LORD EXPRESS
    what can Ol’ Brown and a knight do for you?

  121. Shirin Says:
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    So, I looked it up, and we are both right. “Paige” is the Old French word for the English “page,” and they both mean ‘young helper boy.’

  122. Shirin Says:
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    Ha ha…love it!

  123. Shirin Says:
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    Vote NO to primogeniture!

  124. rudolfs001 Says:
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    (on a lavishly decorated caravan)
    It’s a settlement for burns caused by molten hot ideas. Web thing.

  125. R.E.D. Says:
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    The T-shirt would have a picture of a knight on a (brown)horse with packages tied to the horse. The picture is from the back so the bumphorser sticker would be on the horses, uh….backside? Way in the distance there could be a castle and the kingdom.

  126. R.E.D. Says:
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    IF YOU CAN READ THIS
    you’re a witch! Burn the witch!

  127. R.E.D. Says:
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    Brilliant! I have an older brother.

  128. Mach3 Says:
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    Rape concubines, not the Holy Land

  129. Mach3 Says:
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    Perhaps the first Star Trek/Middle Ages duo joke ever attempted.

  130. R.E.D. Says:
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    On the Kings horse:
    My Kingdom for shock absorbers!

  131. R.E.D. Says:
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    You, me, and 1000 more knights on horses…
    we’d have a convoy!

  132. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
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    So obvious now, thank you.

  133. jbirdpowers Says:
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    Well this is similar to the one before.

    McCain 08 (A.D.)

  134. Jakutz Says:
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    Mid life crisis in the middle ages… so you’re like 20 then?

  135. Mach3 Says:
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    Knavey Seals

  136. lisa Says:
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    my young squire beat up your honorable knight.

  137. Mach3 Says:
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    When God gives me lemons, I slaughter some pagans

  138. Mach3 Says:
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    Nostradamus said you would read this

  139. Mach3 Says:
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    If this Horse’s a neighin’, don’t come a slayin’

  140. Mach3 Says:
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    I hope no one has done this yet, it’s hard to keep track

  141. Mach3 Says:
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    If my steed is a buckin’, I’m probably fuckin’

  142. Mach3 Says:
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    There aren’t any limitations with regards to language or implied trans-species love making are there?

  143. lisa Says:
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    Unless you’re a fly, stay off my ass!

  144. Shirin Says:
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    I’m a twin, so who knows what they do in that case…although, we’re both female, so we really wouldn’t have many choices anyway. :)

  145. Shirin Says:
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    You wish! My knight trounced your squire!

  146. Shirin Says:
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    I think you’re the first one (not sure either, but I think I’ve kept up!)

  147. Shirin Says:
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    This one is timeless…


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    And successfully! 2 thumbs!


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    Thisse karte hathe clym’d the Long Mynd.


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    HA! I’d buy that!


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    The government requires four-digits to avoid Y1K exceptions:

    McCain 0008


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    Proposition 4A1 – Votte “Naye” onne mayking spelement of wordes regulare.


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    King Arthur
    _________________________

    CHANGE IS COMING (BACK)


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    Pillage First – Burn Second


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    Want to called an Englishman? Speake Middle English!

    (The coalition for the enforcement of a national language.)

  156. Gabriel Says:
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    You’re fine, we discussed it here:
    http://www.mentalmagma.com/forum/topic.php?id=16


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    Choose ye this day whom thou shalt serve:
    the Liberal Left or the Divine Right!


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    This cart has been exorcised…please don’t repossess.

  159. dlawhon Says:
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    I actually thought you did, but lost control of my urges to share pointless information. I’ll put myself in timeout and return later without the kia attitude. =)

  160. Alex Says:
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    It’s a child, not a crusader.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Children%27s_crusade

  161. Iaoai Says:
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    Real Italians Vote Guelph.

  162. Iaoai Says:
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    My child is a journeyman at the University of Paris.

  163. Iaoai Says:
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    Si vous ne pouvez pas le lire, êtes un Anglais stupide.

  164. Iaoai Says:
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    Translation: “If you can’t read this, you’re a stupid Englishman.” Esoteric enough?

  165. Iaoai Says:
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    Cast “Yea” for Magna Carta.

  166. Jakutz Says:
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    Lol, monarchies. You gotta love ‘em.

  167. Jakutz Says:
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    Nice one. I’m having trouble deciding between blue and yellow. Oh well, I’ll just make up my mind when he asks.

  168. Jakutz Says:
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    True dat. Safety first.

  169. Jakutz Says:
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    This one has a slight similarity to entry #6. :)

  170. Jakutz Says:
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    Wow. I was trying to decide if I should thumb this up. Then I read your comment. Trans-species love making? +2, sir.

  171. Jakutz Says:
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    This vehicle is biodegradable.

  172. Jakutz Says:
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    Remember how great things were before the rebellion? It’s not to late to change your mind.

    -royalty formerly known as prince.

  173. Shirin Says:
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    Feminists Against Prima Nocta

  174. Garrett Says:
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    Ha! I’m flattered.

  175. Garrett Says:
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    That one’s funny on a few levels, Shirin. Two thumbs up.

  176. Garrett Says:
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    How little things change, eh?

  177. Garrett Says:
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    Just a bit. ;)

  178. Garrett Says:
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    I’m starting to feel obliged to define this one. Wikipedia on ells.

  179. Zabo Says:
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    As much as the middle ages was a long time period, I much preferred the later end. In elementary school I came up with a new rhyme for Columbus that didn’t make sense, but it rhymes if you pronounce the actual letters of the roman numerals one by one:

    M-C-D-X-C-I-I, Columbus sailed the ocean dry.

  180. Mike Fo' Sho' Says:
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    Hooked on Bubonic

  181. Mike Fo' Sho' Says:
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    I anticipate this bumbersticker being followed by a child with black spots giving the thumbs up.

  182. Mike Fo' Sho' Says:
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    i enjoy this one way too much for my own good.

  183. Mike Fo' Sho' Says:
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    i can see it working nowadays.

  184. Jakutz Says:
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    Correction: a child with black spots giving TWO thumbs up.

  185. Iaoai Says:
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    Work Harder, A Feudal Lord Depends on You.

  186. Diavo Says:
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    Plant turnips before you turn-up starving. (This sticker paid for by your feudal lord)

  187. Diavo Says:
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    Don’t ask us — we ask YOU. The Spanish Inquisition.

  188. Diavo Says:
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    My lance is bigger.

    (Or is this idea too obvious??) ‘:-)

  189. Iaoai Says:
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    If you can read this, learn to speak French!

  190. Diavo Says:
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    These go hand-in-hand

    Geocentric on board — the Sun revolves around the Earth!
    -vs-
    Heliocentric on board — Galileo was right!

  191. Diavo Says:
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    WAX YOUR ASS — for smoother, speedier planting.
    (with a silhouetted picture of a running donkey)

  192. Diavo Says:
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    Reading this magic bumper sticker will turn you into a frog. Too late!

  193. Iaoai Says:
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    I think this one conveys my intent better than the previous one in French. This is the wrong topic for a History student!

  194. Diavo Says:
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    A bartender is just an alchemist without iron.

  195. Mike Fo' Sho' Says:
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    FAVE!

  196. Mike Fo' Sho' Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +3

    King Fredrick Proclaims “Relax”

  197. rudolfs001 Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +10

    Joust for the Hell of It!

  198. jupchu Says:
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    Caution: Fearless Adventurer Do not Follow


  199. Notice: Trying to get property of non-object in /home/content/62/9540362/html/mentalmagma/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 28
    Says:
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    How about:

    Zero Ptolerance:
    You’re Not the Center of the Universe.


  200. Notice: Trying to get property of non-object in /home/content/62/9540362/html/mentalmagma/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 28
    Says:
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    Mynde Yooure Manors.


  201. Notice: Trying to get property of non-object in /home/content/62/9540362/html/mentalmagma/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 28
    Says:
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    Marsha! Marsha! Marsha!
    Visit the Brady Bogs in lovely
    Erstewhile, England

  202. Diavo Says:
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    Nice! =)

  203. Ryan Says:
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    Bandit on board.


  204. Notice: Trying to get property of non-object in /home/content/62/9540362/html/mentalmagma/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 28
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    I’d rather be Vikings.


  205. Notice: Trying to get property of non-object in /home/content/62/9540362/html/mentalmagma/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 28
    Says:
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    Visit England – Come See the Violence Inherent in the System. (You’ll be repressed!)


  206. Notice: Trying to get property of non-object in /home/content/62/9540362/html/mentalmagma/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 28
    Says:
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    “Dead” is a Lifestyle Choice…
    BRING OUT YOUR DEAD!
    (Or your not dead yet, not quite dead, or very nearly dead)


  207. Notice: Trying to get property of non-object in /home/content/62/9540362/html/mentalmagma/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 28
    Says:
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    I ran away with Sir Robin & the Minstrels!
    (Get their new album, Minstrel Cycle, featuring the hit
    “Bravely, Boldly Fled.” Available wherever music is bartered.


  208. Notice: Trying to get property of non-object in /home/content/62/9540362/html/mentalmagma/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 28
    Says:
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    I Seek the Grrrrrrrail!


  209. Notice: Trying to get property of non-object in /home/content/62/9540362/html/mentalmagma/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 28
    Says:
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    Looking for a place to rest? Try Grail Light Castle.
    Call 1-800-FOR-ZOOT
    We Have No Reservations.
    You’ll spank us later! (We insist!)

  210. Lalaith Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +13

    I ♥ York


  211. Notice: Trying to get property of non-object in /home/content/62/9540362/html/mentalmagma/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 28
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    Considering Sorcery? Let me explain magic use and your options. I can help! Who am I? There are some who call me “Tim!” Try it now since I am apparently right in front of you. Call, “Hey, Tim!” and we’ll work together to see if sorcery is right for you.

    (Tis more like a bumper poster, but it would be on his back, and there’s all kinds of time since we’re walking, so, you know, bumper stickers would adapt backwards.)

  212. lisa Says:
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    fine….then make it….”unless youith a fly, stayeth off me ass!”

    :) love you shirin!

  213. R.E.D. Says:
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    A chicken for your thoughts.

  214. R.E.D. Says:
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    A goat and a chicken saved is a goat and a chicken earned.


  215. Notice: Trying to get property of non-object in /home/content/62/9540362/html/mentalmagma/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 28
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    Shitte Occurres.

  216. Lalaith Says:
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    (if it’s not terribly obvious, I’m punning on all the “I ♥ NY” stuff)

  217. Lalaith Says:
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    Ride thy horse, not my ass

  218. Lalaith Says:
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    This is great just for the “formerly known as prince” part.

  219. Jakutz Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +6

    1 horsepower. What’s under your saddle?

  220. Zabo Says:
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    Wow, don’t know how this ended up here, was meant as a comment on #81.

  221. Iaoai Says:
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    King’s Deer Unlimited

  222. R.E.D. Says:
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    I’m giving you a +2 because of Jakutz’ explanation of why HE gave you a +2. lol

  223. rudolfs001 Says:
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    Mead: helpeth ye Anglo-Saxons gettith some since 1042.

  224. R.E.D. Says:
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    JOIN THE FRIARS!
    we don’t have much fun, now,
    but we’ll eventually have
    collection plates and alter boys.

  225. Gabriel Says:
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    I edited your comments to include the heart symbol instead of <3, I assumed you wouldn’t mind.

  226. Alex Says:
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    *picture of Calvin urinating on opposing army’s coat of arms*

  227. Alex Says:
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    [This would take some work on the design end]

    A collage of pagan (or non-Christian) symbols with the words “You won’t expect it” superimposed.

    If you look closely in the symbols, you can find the word “Spanish Inquisition”.

  228. Alex Says:
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    Ask Me About Indulgences! (or suffer)

  229. Mary Says:
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    “Loose weight with Leprosy!

    “The pounds will fall right off!”

  230. Mary Says:
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    “Is that a dagger in your codpiece or are you just happy to see me?”

  231. Misha G Says:
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    Rider carries only 20 Farthing worth of crossbow ammunition.

  232. Misha G Says:
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    Keep neighing…I’m reloading my crossbow.

  233. Misha G Says:
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    I brake for Concubines

  234. Iaoai Says:
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    I was trying to think of a way to do this one, but got tripped up in the verbal presentation. Kudos.

  235. Jakutz Says:
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    Ha ha, you totally went there! I love it.

  236. Lalaith Says:
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    Excellent! I did not know how to do that.

  237. Jakutz Says:
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    My wife’s minstrel is visiting this weekend. I’ll be at the pub.

  238. greg Says:
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    My Broker’s In Stocks.

  239. greg Says:
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    I got my identity back! Thank you! Hello, fuzzy, little, green square thing!

  240. greg Says:
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    Are You Wielding a Longsword or a Dagger?
    Ask your apothecary about RomeOH!

  241. greg Says:
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    You’re Getting Medieval on My Ass…

  242. greg Says:
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    Come to Our Grand Re-Opening/Ritual Sacrifice
    Stonehenge Market Place & Druid Worship Center
    We Rock!

  243. greg Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +8

    STONEHENGE GYM
    We’re Stacked!

  244. greg Says:
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    HOV – Pilgrims On Board

  245. greg Says:
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    Staff Parking Permit
    Roger the Shrubber’s
    Discount Shrubbery Emporium

  246. greg Says:
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    ICKY-ICKY-ICKY-ICKY-KAPANG-ZOOP-BOING!

  247. greg Says:
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    Free Eleanor of Aquitane!

  248. Jakutz Says:
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    Hey hey greg! Congrats on getting that fixed.

  249. greg Says:
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    hey, j, loved “Serf’s Up!”

  250. Alex Says:
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    My other car hasn’t been invented yet.

  251. SomeGuyNamedDoug Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +7

    Elect Thomas “One-Chop” Payne for County Executioner

  252. Jakutz Says:
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    Kind of morbid. I like it.

  253. Ian Randal Strock Says:
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    If only I had a bumpy to put this damn thing on.

  254. Ian Randal Strock Says:
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    Damn. Typo. Should read:

    If only I had a bumper to put this damn thing on.

  255. Ian Randal Strock Says:
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    (tattooed across the horse’s derriere):

    Stickers are for wimps.

  256. Jakutz Says:
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    That’s awesome. I’d like to see this one in the finals.

  257. greg Says:
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    Bumpy sounded playfully British.

  258. Michele Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +6

    Because I have a Trebuchet and you don’t, that’s why.

  259. Alex Says:
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    Predestination: Because God likes us better.

  260. Alex Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +8

    You CAN’T eat your FRIENDS, but you CAN eat your SAVIOR.
    TRANSUBSTANTIATION. Like cannibalism, but divine.

  261. Alex Says:
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    I was hoping there’d be a good parody of this one; not sure anything could top “knowledge”.

  262. Alex Says:
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    DON’T HATE FLAGELLATE!

  263. Ian Randal Strock Says:
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    No need to worry about the end of the world: if this is the middle ages,
    there must be later ages still to come.

  264. Lalaith Says:
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    Why hello there! :)

  265. gig Says:
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    And who could have possibly imagined that fooly cooly spoke Old French?

  266. gig Says:
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    Brought to you by William the Conqueror.

  267. Jakutz Says:
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    I guess I should have just made that my entire entry. I figured I needed the first part so it would make more sense, though.

  268. Shirin Says:
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    Ha ha! I tried really hard to come up with something similar to “Shit Happens,” but I just couldn’t do it. This made me laugh! :)

  269. Shirin Says:
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    Man…no offense, but I just hate all the Calvin-pissing stickers! I just love the comic strip so much, but not so much the urination. :)

  270. Shirin Says:
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    Ha ha…I bet they didn’t call it the Middle Ages back then, though! :)

  271. Lalaith Says:
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    No, it does, but the last part is what really made me chuckle :)

  272. Garrett Says:
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    Hear, hear!

    Poor Bill Waterson – tries not merchandise Calvin Hobbes only to see his characters all over the place as a lame redneck joke. Like quoting the Simpsons, South Park, or Monty Python, it might have been funny the first time, but. . .

  273. Alex Says:
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    Yeah, they definitely do a profound injustice to the comic. Bumper stickers are often banal and tribal by nature — even the cleverest — when you really think about it, but I suppose they’re just another way to sell us commodified attitude and identity. We should just start spreading the rumor that all money that goes toward “Calvin urinating on al-Qaeda” stickers supports terrorism…then again, maybe it does.

  274. Arkansas Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +7

    What Would Merlin Do?

  275. Arkansas Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +5

    How Am I Riding? Send a pigeon to 800 Suck My Lance.

  276. Arkansas Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +3

    Make Stew, Not War

  277. greg Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +7

    VIII is Enough! We Can’t Afford Another Henry.

  278. greg Says:
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    ROSE BOWL 1485
    YORK vs. LANCASTER
    Bosworth Field

  279. greg Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +2

    You Think These Ages Are Dark?

  280. Gabriel Says:
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    That would be a great entry into a contest we are considering having: Make up an internet rumor/meme.

  281. fooly cooly Says:
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    a drawing of a herring next to a drawing of a tree

    caption:start choppin

  282. Arkansas Says:
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    If you can read this, my horse just farted on you.

  283. dlawhon Says:
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    As someone who grew up on horseback, this is my favorite entry!

  284. Alex2 Says:
     Add karma Add double karma  +2

    Plague Happens

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     Add karma Add double karma  error

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