Mental Magma

The race for first place was decided by one vote this week.  It came down to a battle of MM newcomers; Benji led for most of the weekend but Jakutz had the most fans in the end.

In a way it’s unfortunate for Jakutz that he had to publicize his plans for the perfect minion.  His answer lets us all know what to choose.

My minions would be kittens with the poison glands of black widows. Kittens are really cute and they can melt your heart with one meow. When you see a kitten, you can’t fight your urge to pick it up and pet it and talk to it like it was your baby. That is why you will die.

Congratulations to Jakutz, he wins himself a $25 Amazon.com Gift Certificate and a 4-pack of Screaming Slingshot Flying Monkeys.

This week’s contest seemed to bring out the best in everyone.  You all sparred verbally over whose minion would best lead to world domination, but you did it with a sense of decorum.  That’s what is missing in the world - aspiring evil doers with a sense of civility.

Before revealing the finalists let me mention a few evil geniuses and their minions who, despite missing the finals, were beloved by the community or the MM admins.  There were Tiago’s hippopotami with kangaroo legs, Mrs Sara’s teddy bear hamsters with jaguar claws, Mrs Sanchez’s cheetah with a T-rex head, Ian Randal Strock’s flying elephants, Mannequin’s human Males with mule bodies, and Dlawhon’s tigers with scorpian tales.

We’ve all seen the part in The Wizard of Oz in which the wicked witch sends her flying monkeys to apprehend Dorothy and her companions (a similar scene is in the modern retelling of the story, Wicked). If you’re anything like me, you thought to yourself “Dang, an army of winged monkey minions would be super useful.” However, are monkeys with wings really the best option?

This week’s contest is to invent your own minion. You get to take one animal and imagine that you can add a body part from another animal. The goal is to end up with a hybrid that you think would make up a good army to do your bidding. The body part you add can be a substitute for the original animal’s parts or it can be just in addition to the animal’s regular parts.

Your answer, which should be left in our Contest Entries section, should describe your animal and detail why you think they’d be good minions for you.

For this contest, standard contest timeline and contest rules apply. By leaving an entry you are agreeing to those rules. The entry voted the favorite by MM users will earn its author a $25 Amazon.com Gift Certificate AND a 4-pack of Screaming Slingshot Flying Monkeys.